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Song Parodies -> "I Read It In the Tabloids"

Original Song Title:

"I Heard It Through the Grapevine"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Marvin Gaye

Parody Song Title:

"I Read It In the Tabloids"

Parody Written by:

Claude Prez

The Lyrics

Ooh, I bet you're wonderin' how I knew
'bout Roseanne's old butt tattoo
And the restaurant massa-cree
When the Lobsters of Death got free
It took me by surprise I must say
When I found out Shaq is gay
Dontcha know that I
Read it in the tabloids
Martha Stewart is an android
Oh I read it in the tabloids
It's a Good Thing I'm not paranoid
Honey honey yeah
(Read it in the tabloids **Doctors Stunned By Genius Crab Boy**, baby)

I know a man ain't supposed to cry
But poor Mary Kate is gonna die (*sob*)
And the Congress are all ETs
Which explains a lot to me
The truth is up there on the shelf
**Rookie Barber Castrates Self**
It's true I
Read it in the tabloids
'bout the Giant Deadly Asteroid
Ooh, I read it in the tabloids
This whole planet's gonna be destroyed
Honey honey yeah
(Read it in the tabloids bout how Siegfried wants to stab Roy, baby)

People say believe half of what you see
**Psycho Bear On Shooting Spree**
**Bigfoot Call Girl Loved By All**
**NBA Bans Alcohol**
Do you plan to just sit there
While the aliens are probing Cher?
Don't you know that I
Read it in the tabloids
John Paul II has been a bad boy
Ooh, I read it in the tabloids
He goes papal when he gets annoyed
Honey honey yeah
(Read it in the tabloids Wacko Jacko likes to grab boys, baby)

Honey honey I know
Who's been gettin' J. Lo

Read it in the tabloids...

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 32

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   3
 4
 3
 
 5   26
 25
 26
 

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Brilliant, Claude :-) Favourite line had to be "He goes papal when he gets annoyed"
Phil Alexander - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
PS Congrats on getting into triple figures ;-)
MasonR - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Like Phil said--this is brilliant! Many great lines here. 555s in 190-point type!
Johnny D - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Like MasonR and Philbo said, this is indeed brilliant. I wish I'd thought of it first .... Congratulations on your 100th parody posting, Claude! And welcome to The Amiright "Top 40".
Rick D - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Since Claude is 90% of the monkey room, he's been over 100 and in the top 40 for a long time.
Know 1 can hear you dream - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes, I plan to just sit there while the aliens are probing Cher but it is a good chance that I might get up and do something about the rest, like sending you 555 for this monthly(?) issue for starters. Part from that I only wish that you had used a made up joke instead of a sad but true fact about Wacko. That line breaks off a bit from the rest.
alvin rhodes - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
best one i read today...bravo !
Johnny D - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick D, thank you --- you've gibbon us all a fresh perspective on Claude's chimpionship status.
Melhi - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Hmm... sounds like SOMEbody had a long wait in line at the grocery store, recently! ;) Hilarious, love it!
Michael Pacholek - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I was gonna give you fives for this brilliant piece, Claude, but I had to dock you a point. How could you write a song about supermarket tabloid newspapers and not mention either Bill or Hillary Clinton? Other than that, it was sensational. Just make sure you weren't carrying 17 items on an express lane.
Stuart McArthur - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah I know, Claude, some of that stuff is just unbelievable!

for instance, just the other week they ran the headline "Bush Gets Re-elected" - 555
Tim Mayfield - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Claude, brilliant and inspired. I am pressed to give you 5's. I must disagree with Know1 because some tabloid stuff is indeed true. At least I prefer to believe so...
Royce Miller - November 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Claude, your parodies are really one of a kind.
John Jenkins - November 30, 2004 - Report this comment
A lot of good lines, particularly the Lobsters of Death line.
Claude Prez - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey thanks everybody
Cookie-man - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
My favorite tabloid story is the ever present bat boy in the national examiner. This parody was a riot! Great work! 555
Adagio - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Really cute lines and good idea...loved it. 5's
Cookie-man - December 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Forgot to put this in my initial comment (SOTM) :)
Scathe - December 10, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Jazzy and incindiary, Claude.
Arwen - December 10, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM--hilarious, Claude!
Melhi - December 12, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still hilarious, still love it.
Steven Cavanagh - December 14, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) - FIVES AWARDED TO PARODY TYPED BY CAT. Claude's talented pet gets his glory stolen again!
Spaff.com - December 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I tend to run out of butt-kissing superlatives when commenting on your work, C4P. You go above and beyond in your pieces; one example that strikes me here is your coming up with three different rhymes for "tabloids" - and that for a line sung by the background singers and that doesn't even rhyme in the original. How anyone could rate this less than fives is beyond me.
Johnny D - December 29, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still wish I'd thought of it first.
Stuart McArthur - December 29, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) already commented, but excellent still
Claude Prez - December 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for all the great comments everybody.
Peregrin - December 29, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL! I must have read all of these papers! 3rd place in SOTM, Claude, I enjoyed very much!
Meriadoc - December 29, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Well, there went our chances - hee hee. Excellent as always Claude!
EmiLoca - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Unbelievable, in both content and...well, content. This was soooo worthy.
Jeff Reuben - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Well done, I read about this in the Enquirer last month.
Paul Robinson - December 31, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) thought I had a pretty good entry this month...let's see, I think this was the 13th I read...I put me around 14th place so far...Fantastic stuff, Claude...I could be allowed to vote for 10 and still feel bad about whoever's stuff I left out this month.
NOVEMBER 2004 SONG OF THE MONTH BRONZE MEDAL - January 02, 2005 - Report this comment
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3009.0;id=2912;image
martha - January 06, 2005 - Report this comment
better late than never..... just fabulous ... well done LOL!! 5s
Spaff.com - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
What Spaff said. Superb. And now I know where I stole my Bigfoot idea.
John Jenkins - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
If Congress is full of ETs, that would explain a lot of things. Still an excellent parody, Claude.
2nz - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Missed this contest. Very funny stuff. Liked the 'Tabloid' rhymes you found the best, specifically 'Martha Stewart is an android'.

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