Who can resist sex? Not Villaraigosa!
He fell in love with a Mexican girl.
When he was interviewed by Miss Salinas,
His mind would stray and his pants would unfurl.

He once pledged his love to his wife Corina,
They linked their names and endured twenty years.
Now there is hurt in his rejected maiden.
Is it heartache or a pain in the rear?

Once side by side, that was how they ran,
Tight as the Huxtable clan.
Dear and devoted, this myth they promoted
‘Til one day Corina learned she was unloved.

For no stranger should
Know what was known by that beautiful anchor
Who did the Spanish-language TV news.
She vividly described LA’s current mayor
And gave the locations of all his tattoos.

Mirthala’s reporting was legendary;
For obtaining answers, she had a knack.
When she posed probing questions to the mayor,
He gave her answers, then he probed her back.

She wanted to ask about certain rumors,
And the unfaithfulness rumor arose.
But Villaraigosa denied the rumor;
Then he got angry and put on his clothes.

Antonio knew he needed a woman,
Someone in whom to confide.
He found a bold one, more fun than the old one,
He saddled up and away he did ride.

Now Antonio
Has many critics who blame this fiasco
On the home wrecker from Telemundo.

He wanted to try some damage control
So he met once with the press.
Though his explanation seemed very awkward,
He wouldn’t say more and he couldn’t say less.

So now that voters
Are able to assess Villaraigosa
And his feeble answers, is he OK?
He has gone public and he can go forward
After he hears what the pundits all say.

Off to the right, he hears five scolding talk shows.
Off to the left, they’re a little more fair.
Shouting and feuding, there is no disputing:
Only one person defends the poor mayor.

On Telemundo, one beautiful anchor
Issues a favorable press release:
“Though the mayor might have groped crudely for words,
Groping’s his area of expertise!”

So his love for
Corina is gone but that does not disturb her;
In the mayor’s mansion is where she will stay.
As he lives elsewhere, the mayor will soon learn
How much it costs to get screwed in LA.

From out of nowhere, a lawyer has found him;
He says the cost of divorce will be high.
Antonio must pay for his indiscretions;
He can now kiss all his assets good-bye.