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Song Parodies -> "My Old Man's A Trashman"

Original Song Title:

"My Old Man's A Dustman"

Original Performer:

Lonnie Donegan

Parody Song Title:

"My Old Man's A Trashman"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

Since almost every American is neither as erudite or cosmopolitan as an amiright devotee, I frequently have to adapt British, Irish, Australian, or even Canadian humor for my karaoke routines. While I love the music hall tradition and Lonnie Donegan, my audience has no clue when I sing about a dustman (much less a jolly swagman). This, therefore, is my New World version of My Old Man's A Dustman. While this scarcely ranks with the translations of The Bible, Beowulf, and the orations of Cicero, it is full of giggles and wisdom...in this case, Norman Wisdom! ;D



(slowly)
Now here's a little ditty - that I will sing when drunk
About an unknown hero - who hauls away your junk.
Some earn lots of momey - others lots of cash.
My old man don't earn much - just garbage, junk, and trash.

(In happy tempo)
Oh, my old man's a trashman - he wears a trashman's cap.
He'll haul away your garbage - and your unwanted crap.
He wears his grimey overalls - and drives in a garbage truck.
Just never give some lip to him - 'cause he doesn't give a...WHOOOAAA!

Some folks are friendly to him - while others pitch a fit.
When daddy sees the latter - he spills a little bit.
One fellow got quite angry - and gave his boss some calls.
The next time daddy went there - he kicked him in the balls!

Oh, my old man's a trashman - he wears a trashman's hat.
He'll haul away your garbage - and even your dead cat!

(Spoken)
Hey Tommy! What does a snail say when he rides on a turtle's back?
He says "WHHHEEEEE!!"

(Sung)
My dad goes through the garbage - for anything he'll need.
He saves all of the magazines - he really likes to read.
He always saves the Playboys - 'though he's eighty-one years old.
(He says) "I don't need viagra - just a crumpled centerfold!"

Oh, my old man's a trashman - he wears a trashman's coat.
He says you'd have less garbage - if you only owned a goat!

(Spoken)
Hey, Michael! What do you say to a parody writer in a suit?
"Will the defendant please rise!"

(Sung)
One day when he was working - he missed a lady's can.
He'd only gone two houses - when after him she ran.
"Where do you think you're going?" - she yelled and ran amuck.
"Is it too late for the garbage?" - "No, jump inside my truck!"

Oh, my old man's a trashman - he wears a trashman's pants.
He makes a lot more money - than his counterparts in France.

(Spoken)
Hey Barry! What's the difference between a bad parodist and a sack of excrement?
"The sack!"

(Sung)
Some folks throw crazy stuff away - put odd things in their can.
My dad has lots of fun with this - 'cause he's a dev'lish man.
Some guy threw a trombone away - so what did daddy do?
(The) next week when he came around - my old man left him TWO!

Oh my old man's a trashman - he wears a trashman's gloves.
He has a merry time of it - his work he truly loves.
Each week he takes your refuse - for you he's heaven-sent.
(And he'd) Rather be a trashman - than to be the Pres-i-dent!!



Oh dear! The garbage you see on this site these days! ;D

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - September 07, 2010 - Report this comment
If he weren't an unemployable cretin, the one bomber could be working on a job rather than working his mischief here. ;D
Peter Andersson - September 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Here's to kinda prove your point about young'ns (though in my own case I kinda need artistic license to use that term on self). I didn't fully get the intro but though, hey, I just I'll just youtube TOS and read the parody and then it'll come, doing so I thought "hey, this is just a rewrite of the original, so I went back to the intro, and then I got it! :-)
Peter Andersson - September 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Never have I proofread a comment that bad (I'm half an hour late for bed, but that's only the explanation, not an excuse), please forgive me, I think it's still almost possible to tell what some parts of some of the phrases was supposed to mean...
Old Man Ribber - September 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, Peter. The famous quote (possibly by George Bernard Shaw) calls the English and Americans two peoples divided by a common language. ;D
TJC - September 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Clever, OMR! I 'refuse' to vote other than fives!
Tommy Turtle - September 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Loved "Playboy/Viagra", and yay for recycling! .. You are correct re: Shaw. Here's a billabong (that's what Pres. Clinton smoked, but he didn't inhale) of Fives.
P. S. - September 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Only just now got the turtle/snail joke - but that's because turtles are *slow*! (else the joke doesn't work!

AFW - September 07, 2010 - Report this comment
This parody is not trashy, at all...quite the opposite...and very funny
Andy Primus - September 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Hilarious - did he remove "15 tons of the jumble and crap"? Surprised that Lonnie is known in the States.
Old Man Ribber - September 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks all. Andy - More than you might suspect. If you can find it, check out Stan Freberg's hilarious impression/parody of Lonnie's skiffle classic Rock Island Line. ;D
Susan Peters - October 25, 2017 - Report this comment
Learned this tune as a "round" changing the job name only each time. In my 20's in the '60's' was a great time for folk singers. Now I'm in my 70's, and I can still sing it! 😊 Time fly's when you're having fun! Good to hear the name 'Lonnie Donegon' again.
Agrimorfee - October 25, 2017 - Report this comment
Nice to see an oldie moldie pulled up out from the depths and brought to our attention again...or for the first time, in my case, thanks Susan P! Nobody wrote/writes like OMR.

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