Oh-me, oh-my, oh-you
There's no one you won't do
Gals pursue ya, and you get them all to hula
You're quite the gigolo
Guys like you come and go
No babe's out of the question
You'd rob Santa of his ho's

Were you doing some floozy neighbor
In your bed most of the night?
She's your mother's age but, screw it!
Hid her dentures, she won't bite
Was she wearing out her tonsils
Screaming "Bingo!" with delight?
Were you doing some floozy neighbor
In your bed most of the night?

Daphne, across the street
She wasn't so discrete
Her husband, Walter
Said, your gender, he will alter
"Cause he knows about your fling
In that special little swing
Seems, when she drinks, her IQ sinks and
Then she begins to sing

Were you doing some floozy neighbor
In your bed most of the night?
Yeah, like Nike says, just do it
You don't wallow in your plight
Do you use kitchen utensils
When you whet your appetite
Were you doing some floozy neighbor
In your bed most of the night?

Now, there's Flo, she's two doors down
She makes films about your town
She is a voyeur
Likes to watch to be inspired
She let the cameras roll
But, somehow, didn't know
That there was a live feed, straight
To the local cable show

[Spoken]
Q: For what occasion is everybody always late?
A: Their own funeral
Boom, boom

You've been doing some floozy neighbors
In their beds most every night
And their husbands want to hang you,
Disembowel you for spite
If they catch you, you're a dead man
You'd best leave, take the next flight
You've been doing some floozy neighbors
In their beds most every night

In their beds most every night

[Spoken]
You can't say you love "em
You just wanna hold "em tight

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
Thursday, Friday, Sat'day night

In their beds most every night

[Spoken]
You're always caulkin' talkers
And they squawk every time

I bet you'd get less death threats
Gettin' in the pants o' mimes

In their beds most every night. Yeah