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Song Parodies -> "A Boy Named Sue"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Leonard Cohen

Parody Song Title:

"A Boy Named Sue"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

Tommy Turtle said he thought I could smoosh two songs at the same time, so this is partly his fault.
My Dad left home when I was three
And all he left, his legacy
This old six-string and an empty jug of brew
For running off, I place no blame
But to my everlasting shame
Before he skipped, he went and named me Sue

Named me Sue, boo! Named me Sue, hoo!
Named me Sue, boo! Named me Sue, hoo!

They must have laughed. Hilarity
Down at the county registry
But I didn't find it funny, the way you do
The girls would smile, then hit the door
The guys would smirk, then hit the floor
Life's a bummer when your name is Sue

Name is Sue, true! What's it to you?
Name is Sue, true! What's it to you?

My childhood innocence I missed
I grew up living by my fist
Never had a stable home, like you do
But as I roamed across the land
My sweet revenge I had it planned
Some day I'd kill the man who named me Sue

I won't sue you! Gonna shoot you!
I won't sue you! Gonna shoot you!

It was Gatlinburg, one July day
Just passing through, no plans to stay
I was hot and I was thirsty for some brew
In a dusty old saloon
I finally caught up with that goon
"You're dead, old man! 'Cause I'm your boy named Sue

Boy named Sue! Boy named Sue!
Boy named Sue! Howdy do, you?

I recognized my dear old Dad
From a faded photo I still had
His face was scarred, one eye would sort of droop
Kind of short and old as dirt
But not afraid of getting hurt
Without a pause I knocked him for a loop

For a loop! Hula hoop!
Chicken soup! Betty Boop!

I punched him right between the eyes
He collapsed, but to my surprise
He pulled a knife and cut my ear clean through
So then I socked him in the teeth
The fight proceded to the street
Someone would die before this day is through

Day is through! You are, too!
Day is through! So are you!

I've fought a lot of tougher men
Most the time I'd easily win
But my old man could kick the way some mules do
He'd laugh and shrug off all my blows
I drew my Colt and then he froze
He began to grin, I thought "What kind of fool, you?"

Kind of fool, you? Kind of fool, you?
Kind of cruel, too! Named me Sue, you!

He said, "You fought one vicious fight
So shoot me now, it's only right
'Cause no one hates my guts the way that you do
But before I leave for Canaan's shore
Please think about it just once more
Would you be the man you are if you weren't Sue?"

You weren't Sue? You'd be who?
If not Sue? Nancy Drew?

He'd touched my heart, so I dropped my gun
I called him "Pa" and he called me "Son"
I began to understand his point of view
I no longer feel disgrace
I'll meet life's challenge, face to face
Should I ever have a son, I'll name him ....

Percy!, Nigel!, Millhouse!

....anything but Sue

No more Sue! Done with you!
No more Sue! Song is through

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - October 18, 2010 - Report this comment
Nice melding, Patrick. Always listen to the words of turtles...LOL!
Old Man Ribber - October 18, 2010 - Report this comment
A double play! Well done. ;D
John Barry - October 18, 2010 - Report this comment
Double entendre.
Michael Pacholek - October 19, 2010 - Report this comment
My name is Mike. How do you do? Now you're gonna get a five! Yeah, that's what I told him!
TJC - October 19, 2010 - Report this comment
Exceptionally well done--you're really in your shellament!
(PS: I dropped a line to TT who said he'll look in on it after work)
TT - November 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Since DK "Hallelu", DK if there's too much of Cash's words in there, or if they were very cleverly overlaid on the other. Giving the benefit of the doubt, 555. Yep, you're ready. :)

Finding songs that are similar in rhythm, rhyme scheme, etc. certainly makes smooshing easier, as said above, by sliding each over the other. Next challenge, when you feel ready for it: Smooshing songs that are completely dissimilar in the above. Good start, though. Keep at it.
Patrick - November 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Basically, all I found similar was the emphasis on the "oo" sound. "HallelUUUjah", "Boy Named "SUUUE". Took some of Cohen's imagery and reimagined the story. Cohen's song refers to the biblical story of King David who spied a woman bathing, fell in lust with her and had her husband killed so he could possess her. I reworked it as a hillbilly spotting the local flirt sunbathing, runs afoul of her lawman boyfriend. The reference to Delilah cutting Sampson's hair I pictured as the Sheriff tying up and beating the hillbilly who had ogled his girlfriend. If you get the chance to look up Hallelujah, you'll see the lyrics I had to work with. Use Cohen's own version, not Celtic Thunder.
TT - November 04, 2010 - Report this comment
"If you get the chance to look up Hallelujah, you'll see the lyrics I had to work with. Use Cohen's own version, not Celtic Thunder."

Patrick, this is why I include links to the OS version I used -- not just to save readers' time, but because of exactly what you said: Different versions will scan and pace differently. So you can't judge the pacing unless you know which version the writer used.

Case in point: Susanna Villanen, who is *quite* intelligent, has done several parodies of one of moi's faves, "I Only Want To Be With You". But I'd spot apparent pacing glitches. Saw that she used a cover by Bay City Rollers, a band I'd never heard of. Went to YT, saw that indeed, they changed or omitted a few words here and there, and Susanna did pace correctly to theirs.

Andy P. later told me that BCR were a lousy group aimed at the teeny-bopper girl market. AFAIK, Dusty Springfield appealed to all demographics who liked 60s pop. In any event, that's why it's useful to link to the OS you're using. I could have looked it up, but what if I got the Celtic Thunder version, as you said?

It's easy just to copy and paste the address bar thing (the URL, as previously discussed) of your video source. Links are cooler, though, and allowed in intro or outro. If you need help in making links, just click that Captcha thing at the bottom of my songs - or leave me a comment at one of mine, and I'll post it there. (It's also right below the "Bottom Comments" box on the Parody Submission page.) Cheers, nice job.

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