Yuk swallow swallow swallow yuk swallow eeewwww
Yuk swallow swallow swallow yuk swallow eeewwww

Those...
Oysters on the half shell are so vastly over-rated
Although I have a lot of friends who eat 'em 'till they're sated
I thought the rumor going 'round was always over-stated
Oysters on the half shell are so vastly over-rated

Yuk swallow swallow swallow yuk swallow eeewwww
Yuk swallow swallow swallow yuk swallow eeewwww

I guess because I always heard
That they could make you sick
I never tried the food of love
To help my saggy stick
And when I fin'ly tried them out
I had to hold my nose
She said to cross my fingers and
Just wait 'till something grows

Oysters on the half shell are so vastly over-rated
Although I have a lot of friends who eat 'em 'till they're sated
They told me you're supposed to eat 'em right before you've mated
Oysters on the half shell are so vastly over-rated

Yuk swallow swallow swallow yuk swallow eeewwww
Yuk swallow swallow swallow yuk swallow eeewwww

I swallowed all the oysters down
And then upstairs we went
We brushed our teeth and got in bed
The sheet looked like a tent
I shuck off my pajamas
Told my wife "Come play with me"
She said 'Do you believe me now?"
I said "Let's wait and see"

Those...
Oysters on the half shell are so vastly over-rated
Although I have a lot of friends who eat 'em 'till they're sated
I guess I should have tried 'em if you ask the girls I've dated
Oysters on the half shell are so vastly over-rated

So now that push has come to shove
I sit here in dismay
The power of this food
Is not as strong as it's portrayed
I've thought about it constantly
And I'm a little irked
'Cos I ate a freakkin' dozen
But just six of them worked!

Re-(p)eat as necessary