We've got haircuts on repos
And lending exposures
We've got hot tubs and steam rooms
Have you seen our new brochure?
When operational risk management's drivin' you mad
With Too much stress testing and far too much CAD*

We've got back testing frameworks
For your corporate risk weight curves
we've got cute personal trainers
and low calorie hors d'oeuvres
when that procyclicality's giving you hell
a session with Cindy will soon ring your bell

Your loss of recourse
Couldn't be worse
Your back's against the wall
Your external measurement's letting you down
You're not looking good at all

We've got carve outs and waivers
And risk mitigation
Bet you can't wait to savour our
Colonic irrigation
That Basel accord stuff's a pain in the ass
But our bottom up treatment is just such a gas

Your credit ratings
Are deflating
Your figures are quite bad
You need us to massage them back into shape
And then you won't feel so sad