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Song Parodies -> "My Dreams Of Ewe Flings"

Original Song Title:

"My Favorite Things"

Original Performer:

Julie Andrews

Parody Song Title:

"My Dreams Of Ewe Flings"

Parody Written by:

Andy Primus

The Lyrics

Kip = sleep
Wonga = money
Mutton dagger = should be obvious even if you’ve never heard of it (same meaning as pork sword & beef bayonet)

Bong hits an’ reefers: I wish they were lawful
Coz I can’t kip and insomnia’s awful
Sheep, if I’m counting ‘em, may ease the plight
Thinking of mounting ‘em just isn’t right

Tried sev’ral doctors who charge lots of wonga
“These pills and those pills will make you kip longer”
When they don’t work I will self medicate
Weed in a doobie will often sedate

When I’m so tired my head is all woozy
Restless in bed so I think of a floozy
Hoping my musing will send me to sleep
But I’m a perv, so it’s back to a sheep

First I chase her
Then debase her
Though I know it’s sad
It runs in the fam’ly to think of such things
I learned it from dear ol’ dad

Dad was a farmer and also sheep shagger
He used to stab ‘em with his mutton dagger
He had a tip that’d help him to play:
“Place ‘em in boots so they can’t run away”

My thoughts are boning a frisky Merino
Wife’s are of shagging a young Al Pacino
Maybe I’ll try boffing Little Bo Peep
Though I would rather do one of her sheep

Dreams of a young ewe in hard-core all-nighters
Much more relaxing than big sweaty fighters
Thoughts of Mike Tyson won’t put me to sleep
Much prefer ones with young Flossie the sheep

Oh, the night time
Is the right time
For these thoughts so bad
I’m simply a guy who has dreams of ewe flings
Or maybe a perv who’s mad

I don’t know how old Little Bo Peep was supposed to be. She looks like a young adult in the 1885 depiction by Walter Crane but looks younger in some other depictions. I’ll play it safe and say the “Little Bo Peep” that I had in mind is the 26 year old shepherdess in a newspaper story from earlier this year. She lives in a remote part of north-east England with no mains supply of gas or electricity and she can’t find a man:

I may be a perv but I’m not *that* much of a perv!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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Puto - October 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Made me laugh! 5s!
John Barry - October 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Oviney boy.
Patrick - October 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Well paced and rhymed. Reminds me of another writer who made a rare appearance here this week.
Tommy Turtle - October 05, 2012 - Report this comment
This is exactly why counting sheep has never helped me sleep, either -- I start getting too aroused at the thought.

Read the article -- I think ewe've found TT's soul-mate! Can you hook me up? She is *hot*!

Clever verse Merino/Pacino. Count these Fives until you fall asleep.
AFW - October 05, 2012 - Report this comment
I wool give you fives, but that's mutton compared to what it should get...seriously, very humorous and creatively done
Meriadoc - October 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Lots of great lines! Merino/Pacino was my favorite!
Peregrin - October 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Good stuff Andy. "Restless in bed so I think of a floozy" - like that's gonna help you get to sleep? Get to sheep maybe :)

Re the linked story: Oh dear, my heart bleeds for the poor young lass. I have a sneaking suspicion now the story has been published she will now have no shortage of suitors willing to 'get her generator going'...
TJC - October 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Clever, funny, very well written—ewe nailed it!
Andy Primus - October 07, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks to Puto, JAB, Patrick, TT, AFW, Meriadoc, Peregrin & TJC for the votes & comments.

TT - at 26, don't you think she's just a little bit too young for you? I could probably hook you up with one of her sheep, though any test-ewe-dine offspring would look pretty weird. I know, I've ewe-sed that one before but I liked it then & still like it now.

Peregrin - I bet she will!

TJC - looooong time since we've seen a new parody from you!
Lifeliver - October 07, 2012 - Report this comment
You rammed this one home (groan) - shear pastoral delight. Have some 555s you sicko.
AndyP - October 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks to Lifeliver for the vote & comment.

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