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Song Parodies -> "Sly Dave Late Show King"

Original Song Title:

"My Favorite Things"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Julie Andrews

Parody Song Title:

"Sly Dave Late Show King"

Parody Written by:

blackjack21

The Lyrics

Creepy Old Man David Letterman still hanging in there amid the sex and extortion scandal that broke last month. In fact, the ratings for his Late Show went up in October. Ah, only in America. An interesting story and I think we're just seeing the tip of the iceberg right now. Well, in true Letterman fashion, I'm going to make light of his unfortunate situation. It's all in good fun. Seriously. ;-)
Jane in Accounting and Midge in Production
Might become targets of Late Show seduction
Found out because of the ex-tor-tion sting
Detective dudes came by, saved Late Show King

He's the big boss man, to take stance is futile
Don't tell and play well, can't snitch or it's brutal
While these to me seem like her-ass-meant things
Easy to do if guy's Dave, Late Show King

Sure he tried 'fessing, just blew off the issue
So makes me say *yawn* don't pass me a tissue
Killer night ratings show he's still the king
No bad pub to the sly Dave, Late Show King

Fun, this Late Show
F.B.I. stings
When the deal goes bad
But now it's November, high favor, rat-ings
So no need to feel...too bad

Jane drops and shows that she wants a promotion
Might pop her: Gretel, reward her devotion
Round tapered packages, makes kite take wing
Coming in twos makes guy Dave's date night sing

Cream colored Toni's ass, firm ample boodle
Whore Nell who lays well and schnitzels his noodle
Wild Lisa's thighs and her poon make him schwing
These are three screws of spry Dave's Late Show string

Chicks in tight dresses and glued-on eyelashes
Ho babes they stay on his pole at work bashes
Jill purred like kitten and felt on his thing
These are a few of sly Dave's Late Show flings

When it's Late Show
Then *Big D* swings
When he’s dealing gnads
He’s pimping his member: his favorite thing
A mess, he’s a heel...old cad




"There's a new book out called 'Why Women Have Sex' that says there are 237 reasons why women have sex. And folks, Letterman knows the top 10." -Jimmy Fallon

"I was shocked that Letterman has been having affairs. I had no idea he was even running for office." --Bill Maher

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 2
 2
 
 5   8
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Timmy1000 - November 05, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm sure you wrote about just a few od Dave's favorite things, since this was going on a long time. Well done.
Christie Marie M - November 05, 2009 - Report this comment
I never got into Letterman much, but I did hear the shocking scandal about his having sex with the staff on NBC. That's all the Kama Sutra I heard in this part! I could imagine someone playing Letterman at his own game, especially using Letterman's Top 10 against him about his sex scandal. Here's 5's! Great parody!!!
John Barry - November 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Topically incisive.
Fiddlegirl - November 05, 2009 - Report this comment
TMGLTM in this one, BJ21... ROFL Hilarious! :D
Tommy Turtle - November 06, 2009 - Report this comment
WAAY Tmgltm, but a few: "her-ass-meant "
"Round tapered packages" -- syllable-matching to the OS worthy of... worthy of ... (struggles for the right image of grandeur)
"makes guy Dave's date night sing" -- phonemic alternation + alliteration = delightful (night-full) tongue-twister. (Is "tongue-twister" a pun in this c*ntext?)

237 reasons to have sex? Women are too complicated. Men have only one.
Women have 237 "excuses", but only two reasons: Love and money, not necessarily in that order. ;-D

For what little my (rarely-)humble opinion is worth: Your best ever, blackjack21. 555+++
TT @ 444-Voter - November 06, 2009 - Report this comment
"How funny" is always a matter of personal taste, but show Professor Turtle a single pacing error, please?

A few stresses were changed, but they were properly marked for the reader's attention by hyphenating. (Detective needed one, to switch the stress from "tec" to "De", but that's hardly a full point.) To the site's pickiest pacing nit-picker, perhaps perpetually p*ssing peeps (moi), this is otherwise bullet-proof.
blackjack21 - November 06, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks Timmy, I like my comments *Well done*………Thanks Christie, lots of funny Top Ten slams on Letterman out there…….Thanks John, glad you could get your incisors into this one………Thanks Fiddlegirl, I love it when you ROFL. But you’ll have to show me how to TMGLTM ;-D

Thanks Tommy, I really…wait…I did all that? ;-D I’m afraid I’ve gotten hooked on syllable matching for the moment, nasty habit to get into. (You were right Leo Keough) Best ever? Wow, don’t know that I agree, but it’s surely “Top Ten” :-D And thanks for the comment @ 444. *Detective* should have been hyphenated as you said. Otherwise, I couldn’t find any errors, but glad it was confirmed by one of the nittiest pickers on site. ;-)
ToTTally UnsoliciTTed TTip - November 06, 2009 - Report this comment
To minimize the stress switches, hyphens, hymens, etc: If the chosen words can't be finagled correctly, before resorting to the hyphen, keep in mind that you can always re-phrase the original choice, unless the original is too funny to be changed:

"Found out because of extortionist's sting"       not only nails the stress, but also adds consonance "st's/st" -- cute perk.

"Gumshoe detectives come; save ..."
"Sheriff's detectives came; save..." etc.

You already know the TTTfPPP about having the meter analyzed, and of course you knew that TOS was in dactylic tetrameter, so it's just a matter of thinking of a phrase that naturally stresses its first syl. Once that's in the noggin, the ideas will flow accordingly.

And, of course, "her-ass-meant" was already perfectly paced and stressed; just separated (heh heh) to emphassize the delightful pun on "harassment". Just brushing the lint off of this pressed, starched, and dandy (law-)suit.

"One should always refrain from offering unsolicited advice, for fear of discovering its exact value to the recipient" (from memory, might not be verbatim) -- Francisco D'Anconia, in "Atlas Shrugged" © 1957 Ayn Rand. But it doesn't cost anything, either. :-)
blackjack21 - November 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Dactylic tetrameter? I thought it was just "DUM da da, DUM da da, DUM da da, DUM da" Thanks for the help, you'll never know how much it meant to me. ;-D
TT - November 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Why don't you tell me? (I know when I'm being made sport of! ... hmppph!) :=D
blackjack21 - November 09, 2009 - Report this comment
LOL! You know, sport, every time I tried to tell you, the words just came out wrong. So I guess I'll have to tell you in a song. ;-D
Jim Crotch-eTTy - November 10, 2009 - Report this comment
*Sooo* looking forward to that song! 8=D

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