I own a progressive farm
That causes purists some alarm
Though I don't understand the harm
In interbreeding beasts;
Take two strains and make them one,
Experiment and have some fun,
And you will never be outdone
At your Thanksgiving feasts!

I love to breed my bovine sows,
I milk my pigs and slop my cows,
Make snakes that fly and birds that crawl
You can't buy beefpork at the mall!

You may think I've lost my mind
But hens and foxes get on fine
Your scrambled eggs can be lupine --
The yolks are flecked with grey
And billy goats aren't always gruff
Espec'lly when they're bred with stuff
That comes from my old sheep dog, Ruff
The puppies bleat all day
I never thought I'd be the type
All wrapped up in genetic hype
Yes, you can scoff and shun it all
But will your own goat fetch a ball?

As for pets, I'd always found
I'm incomplete without a hound;
I've always found that pound for pound
There is no better friend.
But wife preferred her Siamese
And hounds made Choux-Choux ill at ease,
So my genetic expertise
Was put to useful ends

Now hear our new cat cry bow-wow!
Our kitty's bark's the dog's meow!
Aloof, yet loyal to a fault --
Don't mess with Spike lest you be mauled

Once when inspiration struck,
I bred my stallion with a duck,
The horse-sized egg, well it got stuck
(Lost a good bird that day...)
I re-tried with a smaller breed:
A shetland to replace the steed;
Now duck-quine swims, and when it feeds,
It waddles to the hay

My sweet hybrid menagerie
Is such a wondrous sight to see!
No breeding challenge is too small
Guess I can play God after all!