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Song Parodies -> "Chelsea Handler"

Original Song Title:

"Chelsea Morning"

Original Performer:

Joni Mitchell

Parody Song Title:

"Chelsea Handler"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Woke up, it was the morning newscast
What's the first thing that I heard?
Was one more celebrity catfight
And some very naughty words.

It came roaring in
Like air raid sirens
And painful as
A dentist's drill.

Yet I just stayed
Couldn't pull away
I couldn't help it
She was so shrill.

Woke up, it was Ms. Chelsea Hammer
Spewing all her bile
People think that she's so clever
But she's really simply vile.

Bleep, bleep, bleep!
Rude words to shake you up
The paparazzi get
Their jollies.

Come Christmas Day
I'll have my way
Deck her halls
Not with holly.

Now she's on a tangent
With her target for the day
And her fans
Hang on to words she says.

And bad words fly
She makes me cry
Turn off the TV.

Turned on, it was the Tonight Show
And - oy! she's back again
Not long ago she shat on Angie
Said she had a crush on Jen.

And her mouth poured
Out obscenities
That sore
Offend my senses.

Oh, where've they been
I have doubts 'bout Jen
I don't think
In former tenses.

Shut your piehole, Chelsea
You got the shoestore in your mouth
You'll be served with lawsuits soon enough
They'll call your bluff.

You're so uncouth
I'm telling you the truth - *btsplsk*
Tacky Lady, kindly
Shut up, pu - leeze, Ms. Chelsea Handler!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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AFW - November 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Fitting bash, and well written
2Eagle - November 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, AFW - she's so crass she's so unfunny. Recently she did a stand up comic routine where she called Anglina Jolie a lot of obscene names. I know the Big A has been the subject of my barbs but Chelsea Handler is just pathological.
NorCalVotrix - November 29, 2011 - Report this comment
Lord 2-Ease, I wonder if she and ~little-B~ spent T-Day barefoot in Saigon this year?
2Eagle - December 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, NorCal - who knows? Their house in Malibu is up fpr sale. They might come to YOUR town.
NoTownGal - December 04, 2011 - Report this comment
Lord 2Ease, I'll have that 'bar of Soap' ready for her, Sir !
2Eagle - December 07, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, NoTownGal.

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