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Song Parodies -> "The Battle Of Krispy Kremes"

Original Song Title:

"The Battle Of New Orleans"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Johnny Horton

Parody Song Title:

"The Battle Of Krispy Kremes"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

OMR suggested this title, so here goes..
In Two-0-Thirteen, I took a little trip
Along with Tommy Turtle for a breakfast donut flip
He wore a purple sweater and a little pair a' jeans
And we jogged down to a coffee shop and ordered Krispy Kremes

We started with four, but the hungries kept a' comin'
We didn't spend a penny - was Appreciation Day
We belched once more, our tummies were a numbin'
My hands and Tommy's flippers put those Krispy Kremes away

(Hup two, three, four) (Hup, two, three, four)

We tipped every waitress, 'specially big tittish ones
Naughty Tommy did some flipper gropin' - pinchin' on their buns
Tight skirts worn high really made our bugles ring
Each gave a little giggle, blew a sexy kissy fling

They fired up tons, lovely givers kept a' comin'
One customer named Benny - passed out, bloated on the floor
They're bringin' us loads, our table's filled with crumbin'
Our waistbands are expandin', Tommy gulps and asks for more

(Hup, two, three, four) (Hup, two, three, four)

Young punk, next table, was smirkin', crackin' wise
Tommy flipped a lemon bismark - hit him right between the eyes
Began a battle - others hurled their Kremes, as well
Made a fort out of our table top - and flipped and flung like hell

We fired our buns, pastry bullets kept a' comin'
A cream puff hit a waitress - puffed her cleavage, doncha' know
Splatted her thigh with a big strawberry fling
Then me and Tommy watched a while -, didn't throw a thing

(Hup, two, three, four) (Hup, two, three, four)

Oh, the chefs from the kitchen, would all join in the scrambles
People fell on their tushes from the fruit and donut flow
Screams, yells, came fast - and no sounds could a' matched 'em
The place was messy, drippy - like a dumpster doncha' know

Our Kremes were cannons, till the action settled down
The cops were there as patrons - didn't have to come from town
They said, "We won't take you in - you've amnesty, we're kind,
Call it "Appreciation Day - but out, get your behind!"

Fired no more buns, flyin' pastry stopped a' comin'
We walked out, me and Tommy, - glad the cops had let us go
Told folks out front - don't eat there, get to runnin'
The place is drippy, messy - like a pig pen, doncha' know..

(Hup, two, three, four) (Hup, two, three, four)

Hup...

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   12
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User Comments

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Patrick - January 31, 2013 - Report this comment
This would make a fun, but messy video. I wonder who would cater the event for the cast and crew. "Out get your behinds" is a good line. "Fired our buns", fits the original. Do turtles have waists? Security code "MUF". Some folks might appreciate that.
Old Man Ribber - January 31, 2013 - Report this comment
AFW - Having good ideas is easy. Making them happen with skill and humor takes the marked ability of an AFW. Thanks for this one. ;D
Rob Arndt - January 31, 2013 - Report this comment
Fun-tastic-555! But don't over dough it :)
John Barry - January 31, 2013 - Report this comment
Très tasty. Now, how about a take on the OS about the impending egregiously overhyped "Harbaughttle" of New Orleans?
Glen S - January 31, 2013 - Report this comment
Yay for the Krispy. Very funny story, and great work overall. Quite filling too. Also, my security code is 'KUK' for this comment, which probably means "KREMES, UNDENIABLY KRISPY"
AFW - January 31, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks, Patrick...I guess if turtles can type and write parodies, they can have a waist..it's about midway on the shell...right, Tommy?...and thanks, OMR...and thanks, Rob..good pun...and thanks, John..you got me on Har--what?...and thanks, Glen.
Turtle Who No Longer Fits In Shell - January 31, 2013 - Report this comment
The country's out of dough because the Gov is nuts, but there's no shortage of doughnuts -- go figure!

Expected a weight-management battle or temptation-struggle story; this was waaay better. Hilarious concept and execution, and thanks for the honor of fighting alongside you. :) 555

p.s.: With the ref to short skirts and other skin showing, how about a "bare clause"? (bear claws)
Andy Primus - January 31, 2013 - Report this comment
Funny story. LOL @ big tittish ones among others.
AFW - February 01, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks, TT....dough and nuts...good pun, there...I guess they do fit together in many ways...bear claws..lol.....and thanks, Andy
MsCremeDeLaCreme - February 05, 2013 - Report this comment
Very good, Sir L'Air de Farce! although their donuts are too sugary for my tastes, and not as much 'substance' as the SafeWay brand.
AFW - February 05, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks, my dear....I love donuts, the holes are my favorite part...so I buy the kind with larger holes.. but never tried this brand....not in close area...Kmart is my addiction dealer
SirCristiCreme - February 07, 2013 - Report this comment
MonSieur Sauvage says that ~sirCristiCreme~ will be the rePups 'Dream Cream' Candidate in 2016 . . .
AFW - February 07, 2013 - Report this comment
Governor ChristieCreme...lol...is that your quote, CC?...funny and cute...
LilNorCALgal - February 08, 2013 - Report this comment
Qui, Qui, C'est moi, MonSieur L'Air de Farce, ~Le Duque de Charmaine Cremes !

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