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Song Parodies -> "Telemarketer Blues"

Original Song Title:

"Folsom Prison Blues"

Original Performer:

Johnny Cash

Parody Song Title:

"Telemarketer Blues"

Parody Written by:

Bob Konigsberg

The Lyrics

I hear the phone a ringin' They're calling me again,
I haven't given them one dime, Since, I don't know when,
The marketers keep callin' They think that I'm some clown,
They say it's for the children, How can I let them down.

When first I got a telephone, The only folks that called,
Were family, and bill collectors, I almost loved them all,
But somebody somewhere gave my name to charity,
And now they all want my help, Supporting causes I can't see.

There's veterans disabled, And Cancer children's fund,
In my City, state and county, Police have been outgunned,
And if I do not help them, For just a buck a day….
They promise they'll keep calling, To take my cash away.

It does no good to protest, Leave the phone off of the hook
They're only doing their best, To help folks by the book,
My local superfund site, Will soon reach my yard,
If I don't give them money, they'll make my life hard.

They act like bill collectors, Thank me for my support,
I have not been called "sir" so much. They must do that for sport,
"Cause they have got my number, But I can't call them back.
And if I get nasty, they switch to full attack.

I've got a neat solution, when they call again,
Ask their help to pray with me to God with my problem,
Just never take a deep breath, that gives them time to think,
And if you do it fast enough, you'll drive them all to drink.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   2

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - March 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Excellent, Bob. But on the bright side, at least Jehovah's Witnesses don't have call centres ;-)
Michael Pacholek - March 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Good morning, Mr. Konigsberg. My name is Michael, and I'm calling from Amiright. Can I interest you in some fives? They're totally free! Wait! If you act now, you'll also receive... Hello? Phil: Don't give them any ideas. One of the proudest days of my life was when I out-talked two elderly JW ladies at my front door. I beat them! The only Jehovah's Witness I want to see at my front door is Janet Jackson. (And judging by some of her work, she may not be all that devout.)
Adagio - March 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Pretty good....the pacing was a little off.

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