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Song Parodies -> "A Boy Who'll Sue"

Original Song Title:

"A Boy Named Sue"

Original Performer:

Johnny Cash

Parody Song Title:

"A Boy Who'll Sue"

Parody Written by:

Alvin Rhodes

The Lyrics

my daddy began when i was three
and he taught me 'bout dance and harmony
with an old guitar and a healthy knowledge of blues
now, i don't blame him, cause he pushed us kids
cause i've done worse things then he ever did
now, this kid i groped has said he's gonna sue

now at first i thought this is quite a joke
but there's been some rumors from the children-folk
i had to pay 'em off, or i was through
some kid would giggle on my bed
it was lots of fun, but i'm filled with dread
i tell ya, life ain't easy when a boy might sue

well, i grew up black in the music scene
i hit the charts before i hit my teens
i'd tour from town to town to spread my fame
but i've made it now...i'm a singin' star
though i act, at times, like a man from mars
i hate that boy who's causin' me all this shame

well, it was santa-barb in mid july
and i'd been brought down by the FBI
in jail, i stopped and pics were taken, too
though i act the loon, i'm just flesh and blood
but to the children, i'm a stud
but that dirty mangy boy still says he'll sue

well, i know this kid, plus his mom and dad
and he told his folks about this date we had
and i knew i was up the creek and no wonder why
i drank jesus juice and it made me bold
when i read the charges all my blood ran cold
and i said, you gonna sue ?
what did i do ?
now, i'm gonna cry

well, i took it hard, but i'd gotten wise
i'd just pay him off like the other guys
i'd get on with my life, despite what the people might hear
but i'm busted, its clear, though i'm hardly beat
i can dig in my vault to take off the heat
kickin' back in prison is the thing that i most fear

i tell ya, i'm not into men
but gimme boys all young and thin
i act like a fool, lord, i act like a pedophile
i heard the press had really made a fuss
i stuck to my guns...said there was no lust
they were all lookin' for me to arrange a trial

so i said, kid, i'll give ya stuff
but he wasn't gonna take it, cause it wasn't enough
and he went and hired a lawyer to help him along
i was only a don't wanna try
i'm just a children lovin' guy
and if you think i'm sick i'll prove you wrong

i said , now , you're in for a hell of a fight
and i know you hate me and you got the right
to sue me now and i wouldn't blame you if you do
but you really hurt me and i don't know why
cause i never touched your butt when you spent the night
but because of your mama, the bitch, you're gonna sue

i got all dressed up and put on my glove
and i'll go down to court and speak about love
and they'll come away with a different point of view
and i think about him every now and then
and the nights we spent when he was ten
and i never hurt no one...but this kid still wants to nail me
bill ? ?
someone's gonna sue
i sure hate that kid

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   2

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - September 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Good paradox, since Bono called Johnny Cash "the most male voice in Christendom," and Michael Jackson, to put it politely, isn't.
Green Bloodied Hound Dogs - September 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Pacholek, Michael Jackson Is Gay.
alvin rhodes - September 22, 2004 - Report this comment
thanks for taking a look

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