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Song Parodies -> "Folger's Crystal Blues"

Original Song Title:

"Folsom Prison Blues"

Original Performer:

Johnny Cash

Parody Song Title:

"Folger's Crystal Blues"

Parody Written by:

Alvin Rhodes

The Lyrics

i got the water runnin'
i woke up late, again
and i ain't got me no time left
to grind my beans
i'm stuck with folger's crystals
cause time is almost gone
off to work, i must be strollin'
i hate this mountain-grown

i drank it, when a baby
my mama told me, son...
coffee's never good, boy, when it gets made with chunks
but, by grindin' your own beans, oh !
it will taste just right
and you'll find its worth the hassle
it fills you with delight

i wish that i was seated
at the local java bar
i don't like instant coffee
its never up to par
but this morning, i am runnin'
the hour's late, you see
and there ain't no time for brewin'
and that's what tortures me

well, it sure peeves me 'bout these crystals
in this coffee cup of mine
it burns me up just a little
its the richest kind ?????
its just folger's crystals
there ain't much more to say
and when i took that first slow sip full
i threw that crap away

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Royce Miller - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Very well put; can you do one about Yuban?
Rick D - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Not only was I gonna do this song next, but it's right above one that I posted where you beat me to the idea. Just want you to know that at least I admit it.
Dee Range - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
This parody, unlike the coffee, is great! 5's
alvin rhodes - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
thanks royce, rick and dee...
Johnny D - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
555 Java Beans from Mrs. Olsen.
Jonathan C. - August 26, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm not a big coffee drinker. But if I was, I certainly wouldn't take a sip of Folger's Crystals (or any instant coffee for that matter.:D)
Andria - December 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Although I am not the late great Royce Miller, I would enjoy a song about Yuban coffee ("Luanne" by Foreigner, from the "4" album is an ideal OS). I enjoy instant coffee, especially when mixed with NesQuik and with four or five Entenmann's bear claws on the side. 5s.
alvin - December 15, 2008 - Report this comment
thanks johnny, jonathan and andria....yeah, i miss royce....that was truly sad....i gotta have the brewed stuff...with a cream cheese danish
LittleCafeCakes - December 15, 2008 - Report this comment
how I hate the sound of a grinder, the first thing in the morning . . . worse than NASCAR! ! I stock up on PEETs ground MajorDickenson when onSale at Safeway, Sir Alvin.
alvin - December 15, 2008 - Report this comment
thanks LittleCafeCakes...sounds yummy

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