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Song Parodies -> "A Bear Named Pooh"

Original Song Title:

"A Boy Named Sue"

Original Performer:

Johnny Cash

Parody Song Title:

"A Bear Named Pooh"

Parody Written by:

Claude Prez

The Lyrics

I grew up in some kid's toybox
Buried beneath his dirty socks
And that messed-up boy was the only one I knew

We had adventures or so he said
I knew he wasn't right in the head
The second that little bastard named me "Pooh"

Well his mama named HIM Christopher
He had no cause to be pissed at her
I'm sure he thought it would be a funny thing to do

Some piglet would hug me and I'd spray it with "Raid"
Some tigger would bounce me and I'd have it spayed
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a bear named "Pooh"

Deep in the hundred acre wood
I dreamed of mauling that wanker good
He was ugly and stupid and probably insane

Yep, hurtin' him badly was my goal
But his imagination kept me under control
It turns out I'm a bear of very little brain

Believe me, things are tough enough
When you're tubby, cute and stuffed with fluff
To try to get folks to take you seriously

But when some sissy-boy names you Pooh
Ain't nothin' left for a bear to do
But arm himself and go on a killin' spree

That's just what I was about to do
I knew this bear down at the zoo
Could get me whatever I wanted in there with them freaks

I gave him my cash and I said "let's go"
He said, "Now, slow down, Slugger--whoa;
My conscience dictates you'll have to wait two weeks."

Before two weeks my life changed quick
Some Disney guys who liked my schtick
Made me an offer; but I'd have to keep the name

Movies, TV, books and more
This Disney crap was a monster score

Well, after that you know the rest
Except the Kanga part I guess
But that's one story I won't be tellin' you

But let's just say for the sake of fun
If Pooh Bear ever had a son
I think I'da probably named him...
Mortimer! Or Garfunkel! DEFINITELY NOT Roo!
And if you're from the Child Support Agency, I never seen that bitch before in my life!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   2
 3   2
 4   4
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Olvan The Terrible - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent parody! It establishes a side of Pooh I've never seen before, especially at the end!
Johnny D - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
The Dark Side Of Pooh - who woulda thunk it? LOL! 555
Royce Miller - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
You write some excellent stuff, Claude
Tim Hall - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Bears are not as friendly as fairy tales and cartoons make them to be. Great job!
Paul Robinson - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Claude - The bear minimum I could give this parody is straight 5's. Great stuff.
John Jenkins - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah, the power of the two week waiting period. Claude, I don't want to know how your mind works, but this is a masterpiece.
LOL - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
i have a friend who luvs pooh, she wouldn't appreciate this, but i think it's FUNNY!!!!!
Rick D - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Maybe poor old Pooh can date sombody that thinks "She's a bear!"
Billy Florio - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Claude, you make me want to get off my behind and start writing again...excellent job!
Green Bloodied Hound Dogs - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Did You Know, Winnie The Pooh Was A Real Bear?
Michael Pacholek - May 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Dang, son, you really walked the line there! This was a "hunny" of a parody. Maybe we can do a concept album: The Dark Side of the Kids' Characters. Turning "Cocaine" into "Cookie" (for the Monster) is my contribution. Anybody got some dirt on Arthur the Aardvark? And is Clifford such a Big Red Dog because of steroids?
Meriadoc - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Perfect example of why Claude is THE MASTER! This parody is stripped right down to the bear neccesity of laughter!
Phil Alexander - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but this made me laugh out loud... - May 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Pooh isn't funny. Heh heh. BUT THIS IS. I liked the first four stanzas so much that I wondered if you'd be able to keep it that good throughout. Silly me. I should never have doubted the Prez Elect.
Mommy- Doodlebear - May 25, 2004 - Report this comment
I love this, and you! You make me...sniff... so proud. You'll always be my little Claudy-wawddy.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Also DKTOS but some brilliant rhyming with 'pissed at her' and I also L'dOL at the 2 week joke. Great work.
Agrimorfee - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
(May 04 SOTM)Pooh-pooh, to you, 555!
Melhi - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
A honey of a parody (SOTM)
Johnny D - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(May SOTM) See above.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(May SOTM) Considering for a top three place with this one, it's a gem.
Charlie Decker - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh pooh, my chances for SOTM just got even worse...great parody. Classic. - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
More warm fuzzies.
Claude Prez - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh bother; I never thanked everyone for all these nice comments. So thanks all.
Michael McVey - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
That's a good one! And the original is one of my favorites. If only you had the long bleeeeeeeeep in there ......... -- MM
Adagio - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
(MAY SOTM) Very funny and being considered for the contest. 5's
Meriadoc - June 28, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) As above. And I loved the 2 weeks line too!
neminem - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Will someone please host me a link to the version of this song that's being used? Because I just tried downloading it off Kazaa twice, and both times I got a song that would leave me no choice but to give this a 5/1/3, because the number of syllables in a line of that vs. in this parody only match about a tenth of the time. I'm gonna go ahead and give it 5s anyway, because it's really funny, and by the other votes I'm going to assume that such another version does exist.
2nz - June 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Yep, this here's gettin' some more votes, says me. Great timing, Claude. I've learned more about lyrical humor just reading your parodies than from any other source I know of, capitol Period. Great work, this ain't no honey-sucker.
May SOTM 2nd Runner Up - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Congratulations to Claude for winning 3rd place in the May Song of the Month contest with this incredible parody. Well done, Claude!
Claude Prez - July 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks everybody
MAY 2004 SONG OF THE MONTH BRONZE MEDAL - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment;topic=3009.0;id=1332;image
Me - October 30, 2004 - Report this comment
I wish I was Fifi Trixibelle (Daughter of I Wish I Was Bob Geldof). - January 13, 2005 - Report this comment
I found this parady funny and insulting at the same time. I thought the lyrics were funny,but in some ways, I was offended, because I grew up as a huge Winnie the Pooh fan and I wasn't sure what to make of it. I reckon an adults only version of Winnie the Pooh would be funny. I would title it "WINNIE THE SHIT!!!". By the way, I turn 19 on Valintine's Day. - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Comment #3: I found this parady funny and insulting at the same time. Heh heh. Did I ever tell you that I thought about doing this one at a karaoke night on a cruise ship? I chickened out but I'm sure it woulda been AWESOME.
John Jenkins - February 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Very creative concept and a good conclusion.
2nz - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Heh heh, just did this song so I'm in a mood to appreciate this one even more the second time around. Creative and hilarious, Claude.
2004 SONG OF THE YEAR - April 09, 2005 - Report this comment
SECOND PLACE (tie),8407.0.html
Agrimorfee - September 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(Chosen by as a Pooh parody for Show & Tell) Hardy har har, Spaff! :)
Chris H. - December 14, 2005 - Report this comment
This was very funny , in the sense of it being well paced and everything. And it would be funny to make a dark side to children's characters...but some of this I was kind of offended. Well for one , I was named from that kid so it does kind of push the limit.
Jack Wilson - December 16, 2006 - Report this comment
THIS RULES! Loved it!

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