Jack Goff
Jack Goff

I was branded with a name that make's most people flush
They can't help but laugh and stutter and gush..
My old man loved his humor, now I pay the price..
When folks ask who I am, I have to tell 'em twice, I'm Jack Goff..

Jack Goff,
Jack Goff,
I'm Jack Goff,
Jack Goff

Not so provacative, when viewed in print,
But sayin' it aloud sends sparks like a flint
I try to avoid all the hub it evokes,
But, there are certain times I must tell folks, "I'm Jack Goff.."
It's absurd when said on the telephone
Brings a snicker, or a laugh, or a sarcastic groan
With my credit card buys, I get prankster blame
"Hey, that's pretty funny', fella..now, what's your real name?"

Jack Goff !
Jack Goff !
I'm Jack Goff !
Jack Goff !

A real bad scene was on Graduation Day
To get my diploma, knew I'd have to pay
We were all lined up in gowns and caps
Everybody elses name got cheers and claps
'Cept mine..
At stage side, I wait..gettin' tense as heck
Feelin' little sweat beads creep and roll down my neck
As my name is called out, there's a hush and a groan
Could've crawled in a hole as I walk out alone, Jack Goff

Jack Goff,
Jack Goff,
I'm Jack Goff,
Jack Goff..

Thought of changin' it once, but a high legal cost
And doubt if anyone would let the old one get lost
Wish I'd had a nickname like "The Goff" or Buzz,
I got stuck with the worst tag there ever was, Jack Goff,
Tried a whole bunch a ways to live it down
Like printed name cards, that I could pass around
Eight small letters make a big laugh sign,
You just can't get a break with a handle like mine, Jack Goff

Jack Goff,
Jack Goff,
I'm Jack Goff,
Jack Goff

Finally wore me down, I sought some counseling
When I told the guy my name, he said nothing
Didn't blinked an eye, like most folks would..
He just grinned and told me his, and I understood, "Mike Hunt"

Jack Goff,
Jack Goff,
He's Mike Hunt,
I'm Jack Goff !