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Song Parodies -> "Johnny Rivers Serenades Huma Abedin"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Johnnie Rivers

Parody Song Title:

"Johnny Rivers Serenades Huma Abedin"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I had two other Johnny Rivers tunes spoofing Anthony Weiner and his wife, Huma Abedin. The first is a 1964 song called "Memphis" and the second is called "The Poor Side of Town" -- a supremely spoof-worthy love song with over the top string arrangements and female background vocals, and the immortal line, "Welcome back, Baby, to the poor side of town"
Long distance information, give me Huma Abedin
Tell her that her husband has been cyber-sexting me
He did not use his real name but I know that he's a pol
So I'm trying to get to Huma, for this scandal to forestall

Help me information, got to rat out Anthony
He'll only bring embarassment to Huma Abedin
Her mentor was a Clinton, wife to cheating Bill
She'll show her how to muddle through this latest poison pill

Last time I saw Tony, he was bragging on his dong
So I sent him back a selfie of my sweet cheeks in a thong
But then he was exposed again when it leaked to "The Dirty"
Could tear apart the marriage sham of Huma Abedin*

Help me information, more penis jokes make me sad
Tony shouldn't be punished for the little fling that we had
These events are more than six months old, information please
Got to patch me through to her, that Huma Abedin

(And now, on to our second offering, "The Joke Side of Town".
Lyrics in parentheses are the saccharine sweet female background vocals)

Do do do do wah, Huma's fuming
Do do do do wah, Huma's fuming
Do do do do wah, Huma's fuming

How can you tell me, that you're fit for high office
When the last time I saw you, you were tweeting dick pics
That new chick you've been sexting
Must have put you down
So welcome back, Weiner, to the joke side of town

To her you were nothing but a total douchebag ( A total D-bag)
Not much more than a fast way to get on TV (Inside Edition)
To me you're the greatest thing, this comic's ever found
And boy, it's easy to make dick puns
On the joke side of town

I can't blame you for sexting
I thought she was kinda cute, too
I just have one little question, Weiner
Do you not have an effin' clue (Any clue, any clue)

So tell me, are you gonna stray now
Will you screw up again, every day now
With you in the news
The Dems are beclowned
And together we'll get rich, Weiner
On the joke side of town

(So tell me more about your penis)
(Come text me and talk about your newest fetish)

Oh, with you screwing up
I'll make a mint in this town
You'll make me a rich man, Weiner
On the joke side of town

Do do do do wah, Huma's fuming ...
*Marriage of a Muslim woman to a Jewish man is strictly forbidden under Islamic law (but not vice versa, Muslim men can marry Jewish women)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   8

User Comments

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Callmelennie - July 30, 2013 - Report this comment
First line in OS "Memphis" is "Long distance information, get me Memphis, Tennesee," Every time you see "Huma Abedin" it's a sub for "Memphis, Tennesee." I just love that sub
Rob Arndt - July 30, 2013 - Report this comment
Good observations and parody well-crafted- 555!!! I really felt sorry for Huma durign the interviews b/c she looked helpless; either that, or really dumb to stand by a complete loser. Does she hope he'll win? Seriously? I'd hate to be her in daily life buying groceries at the store or getting my nails done in a salon. She's a joke that's marriaed to a bigger joke :(
TJC - July 30, 2013 - Report this comment
Lexcellence abounds! Great parody from an entirely new angle (of the dangle!). Lots of truisms here, esp. the kicking-the-puppy ease of 'dick puns'.
Hu's On First - July 30, 2013 - Report this comment
Not only can Muslim men marry Jewish women, but reportedly Muhammad himself did so. His first wife, Khadija, was an Ebionite (a member of a Judeo-Christian sect that admired Jesus but denied his divinity, considering him only to be a great prophet who kept the Torah and required all of his followers to do likewise). Mainstream Christianity considered Ebionitism heretical, of course. However, the Ebionites may have had lasting impact through their influence on Islam.
Rob Arndt - July 30, 2013 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but couldn't you do "Memphis" as "Morsi?" "Judas" as "Abbas", and "Cry me a River" as "Cry Allah Akbar?"!!! You do Islam parodies very well. I do them when pro-Israeli and political with military equipment thrown in too ;-)
Callmelennie - July 30, 2013 - Report this comment
Mohammed wasn't a Muslim when he married Khadijah, Hu. He didn't begin receiving revelations until 610, 15 years after he married Khadijah. Soon thereafter, Khadijah became the first convert to Islam .... Moreover, Muhammad wasn't even hostile to Jews until the year 624, when he had a falling out with the Arab Jews in the town of Medina. Basically Mohammed had made a good early impression on the rabbis in Medina, who were convinced he might be a prophet foretold in the Torah. But when they saw him close up every day, they changed their minds about him. Later, one Jewish tribe, the Banu Qurayzah, attempted to conspire with Mohammed's Meccan enemy during a siege of Medina, which led to Mohammed ordering the beheading of some 600-800 Jews in reprisal .... It is these events which form the basis of Islam's attitude toward Jews as eternal enemies of Islam, so the fact that Khadijah may have had a tenuous connection to Judaism is quite immaterial
lifeliver - July 31, 2013 - Report this comment
I'm only familiar with the first song, but that read very well against the OS, and I was entertained even though I'm out of the loop re. Weiner. The Mohammed stuff was interesting, Lennie, but I would feel compelled to put 'revelations' in quote marks. Then again, it may be more than your life's worth.

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