I'm a-tired a bein' poor
Tell ya what I'll do
I'll start writin' bluegrass songs
and then I'll be rich too.
I'll ride around in limosines
and drink champagne each night
On the bluegrass hit parade
when I sell the songs I write.

In the parade of Bluegrass hits
I'll be marchin' there I know
The mega stars will play my songs
On big time bluegrass shows.
The royalties will roll right in
And I'll be doin' fine
On the hit parade of bluegrass
the hot songs will be mine.

It can't be that hard to write
a bluegrass hit, I know
They're all about the simple things
And hard times we all know
the tunes they mostly sound the same
When the banjo plays them fast
And I can stretch a metaphor
And make a cliché last.

Bluegrass is where the bucks is at
That's what I heared tell
So I'll grind out them bluegrass songs
And all of them will sell
then I'll go out and write more songs
And take 'em to the store
And if they don't turn platinum
I'll sell 'em door to door.


Spoken:
Howdy Mam, howdy. I surely would be obliged if you would allow me to show you this here collection of brand new Bluegrass songs....
(fade out)