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Song Parodies -> "Big Schlong"

Original Song Title:

"Big Bad John"

Original Performer:

Jimmy Dean

Parody Song Title:

"Big Schlong"

Parody Written by:

Robert D.Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

My first take at making MY version of another author's parody!!!
Now, I've never been one to hang out with Gays
That fantasize about penis size all night and day
And I guess I’m just lucky, down between my legs
However God _chose_ to gift me, hey- I’ve just got a big schlong

Big schlong, Big schlong, Big freakin’ schlong, Big schlong

But one day, let me tell you the story
Saw an internet ad to buy a penis enlarger- but hurry!!!
And the ad said if I acted real fast
The sooner I would be enjoying “tappin’ that ass” - a bigger schlong!!!

A sex-crazed consumer, there always will be
And when the package arrived, I made a new discovery
This was nothing more than a cheap penis pump
Suddenly I felt like such a chump, my big schlong…

Big schlong, Big schlong, Big freakin’ schlong, Big schlong

So each day I pumped and I prayed
Was a little anxious, a little bit afraid
My penis was stretched out in that big tube
I thought I was gonna pass out real soon, big schlong

Used it only once or twice a day
And my penis slowly grew several inches over time
Down my right pant leg, had to strap it with twine!!!
I’d never experienced any scenario like that before, big schlong

Big schlong, Big schlong, Big freakin’ schlong, Big schlong

And so into work, I struggled along
In baggy pants, just swinging my schlong
Everywhere I went, I heard people say,
“Take a look at that trouser snake, wonder if he’s Gay?“... big schlong

I smiled at the ladies as they smiled back
Starin’ at my groin, thought I was gonna have a heart attack
I went to the gym to work out, noticed right away
Most of the attention I wanted- was from Gays!!!… big schlong

Big schlong, Big schlong, Big freakin’ schlong, Big schlong

It freaked me out, but then I got erect
Then it hit me real hard, I started to suspect
That maybe I… with my big schlong… was really Gay (is bad?)
So thanks to ONE Internet ad, I went from straight to homo, but mom’s really glad… my big schlong

Big schlong, Big schlong, Big freakin’ schlong, Big schlong

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Wild Child JIN - May 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Yo! Big Schlong Man, Big Schlong, Big Schlong Yo! LOL!!! ;-D Excellent Job Robert! 555! :-)
Patrick - May 09, 2011 - Report this comment
My advice is to "straighten up". Or maybe take up baseball with your new "bat".
Michael Pacholek - May 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Just make sure it's a schlong flung true.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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