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Song Parodies -> "Big Juan"

Original Song Title:

"Big Bad John"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Jimmy Dean

Parody Song Title:

"Big Juan"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

(Big Juan, Big Juan)
All the rumors at the plant used to buzz about him
Claimed that he was hung just like a hickory limb
Said this Mexican migrant crossed the Rio Grande slow
Made his body a boat, used his willie to row..Big Juan
(Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)

He drove a sixty Dodge, low rider wheels
Everyday at whistle time..you could hear the squeals
He never spoke much, 'cause his English weren't good
In the head, sneakers tried to spot his wood..Big Juan
(Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)

Every lunch was taco time with refried beans
Looked like he had a snake hidden in his tight jeans
Always close to him, the females would eat
And between their bites of sanwich, watched his hands and feet
-Big Juan, (Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)

Then came that day when the accident occurred
Several men were trapped..and much panic stirred
Everyone felt helpless, the men couldn't last
Who rushed to the scene..and acted fast ?..Big Juan

He broke thru the smoke where the crane had fell
And just what he had to do..Big Juan knew very well
He wedged in his willie like a big pry bar
That day he saved all the men..and was a hero Star..
-Big Juan (Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)

At the cheers of the crowd, he cracked a modest grin
When the ambulance came, tucked his willie back in
The feminine workers stared wide-eyed in awe..
Almost couldn't believe what they'd just saw..Big Juan

Word spread like wildfire from the small hick town
'About Juan's Big courage, and CNN drove down
Said, unique was this deed, so all the world should know
Flew him to LA to do the Larry King Show..Big Juan..
(Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)

Held a huge celebration when he got back home
They gave him an organ, and wrote him a poem
And he never returned to his old plant job
He's a porn star now, makin' girls hearts throb..Big Juan
(Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)

FADE (Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 1
 
 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   12
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Timmy1000 - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
I always kind of liked this old stupid song; your version is much, much better. Say, wasn't Jummy Dean the "sausage" guy? Hmmm . . .
Invisible Boy - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Funny idea, AFW. I'm glad Big Juan had the right tool for the job
Claude Prez - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Good parody and good comments too. Say, weren't the workers stuck in a shaft in the original?
TJC - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Muy caliente y wit-tico! Su 'tale' was tall y, er, lonnnnnggg!
alvin - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
hilarious....love the happy ending..lol
< ! ! ! > - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Sir L'Air de Farce . . . I really wonder about you in that Double Wide ! !
AFW - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Timmy, IB, Claude, TJC, alvin, and LCC
Tommy Turtle - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Why did they give him an organ? Sounds like he already had one, and quite a one at that .... Humor in this "vein" proves that the "pen-is" mightier than the sword. No bones about it, 555 -- that's 15 -- inches.
AFW - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Tommy...yeah, I though the organ bit might make a good symbolic spoof
John Jenkins - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
"the crane had fell" and "what they'd just saw"... Ai yi yi. It's OK. I know that Big Juan' s English weren't good. Very good story, AFW.
AFW - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, John J...yeah, sometime ya' gotta' butcher English a bit to fit the pace...and rhyme
Christie Marie M - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Un hombre grande, aquel Juan!! Brace yourself, but, this is "Juan" hell of a parody you wrote!!!! :) :) So hilarious! 555!! BTW, you referring to that Big Juan billboard in Cincinnati?
Andria - January 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Great job there, AFW. Very funny, although some people (not necessarily AIR regulars, nor you or I) might not think the stereotyping is funny. BTW, I have seen a 1960 Dodge, and it is not a particularly attractive car. As far as old Dodges go, the 1959 and 1962 cars are the very worst, and the 1948-69 military-style Powerwagon trucks are the best, IMO. 5s.
AFW - January 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Christie....no, not familiar with the billboard you mention...and thanks, Andria...certainly not meant as a put down to Spanish people...primary theme is anatomical...Could have been any nationality..the name, Juan just made spoof pun
LilTrailerParkHO - January 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Sir L'Air de Farce . . . I think you've already 'outgrown' that Double Wide, eh, Sir ? ?

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