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Song Parodies -> "Big Joan"

Original Song Title:

"Big John"

Original Performer:

Jimmy Dean

Parody Song Title:

"Big Joan"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

(Big Joan, Big Joan)
Every morning in our bed I was dwarfed by her size
Often trapped there beneath her big sinewy thighs
Kinda felt like a rowboat moored beside a cruise ship
But, skinny little me, I never gave no lip to Big Joan,
(Big Joan, Big Joan) Big Bad Joan (Big Joan)

The neighbors always knew when Joan came home
They'd feel their whole house shake and their hound dog moaned
She wouldn't say much, if you winked your eye
She'd just stomp on your foot, and make you cry, Big Joan

Looked like two moving tents in tight blue jeans
And her fists clenched up resembled sledged ballpeens
Just one crashin' blow from a huge right hand
Could change a bass voiced fella' to a tenor man, Big Joan
(Big Joan, Big Joan) Big Bad Joan (Big Joan)

She had a different kind of job than most gals do
She was a LumberJill in a loggin' crew
When chain saws buzzed to timber down a tree
She'd hold steady the trunk and drop it perfectly, Big Joan

Side by side with the loggers, through the woods, she'd walk
You never heard one word of sex harrassment talk
They used to call her, "Goddess" paid her proper respect
'Guess they knew if they didn't she could break their neck, Big Joan
(Big Joan, Big Joan) Big Bad Joan (Big Joan)

Then, one day rookie loggers stood where a tree would drop
Things just happened so fast that it was too late to stop
They never saw the danger, nor heard the warning call
She yanked that tree her way and took the smashing fall, Big Joan

They ran to rescue Joan just as fast as they could
But, even she would not survive this Giant Redwood
Got the call, and to Emergency, I rushed that day
Before she died, "I love you"..I heard her say

They never downed another tree on that timber site
Somehow, without Big Joan it just didn't seem right
So, they erected a shrine, with two bronze axes crossed
And an inscription that read, "But, For Joan We'd Be Lost"..Big Joan
(Big Joan, Big Joan) Big Good Joan (Big Joan)

(Fade)

(Big Joan, Big Joan) Big Good Joan (Big Joan)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - January 01, 2007 - Report this comment
A little crush, have we? You got a joans for her? (I gotta get some new material.)
Below Average Dave - January 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Starting where we left off, great 2007 kick off today all in all by many parodists. . .555 for you
AFW - January 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, Guys...
alvin rhodes - January 02, 2007 - Report this comment
masterfully matches the OS...plus a great story...bravo

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