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Song Parodies -> "Big Bad Dick"

Original Song Title:

"Big Bad John"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Jimmy Dean

Parody Song Title:

"Big Bad Dick"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

Every morning when I wake, I'm glad to see he's alive
He can take his licks and has a whole lotta' drive
Kinda' long of the neck and thick at the head
Guess you'd call him a redneck, cause his neck is red, Big Dick
(Big Dick, Big Dick) Big Bad Dick (Big Dick)

Well, everybody knows where Dick comes from
He gets into doin' push ups, likes to work out some
He's only got one eye, but it's an evil one
And when he gets excited, him and the gals have fun, Big Dick
(Big Dick, Big Dick) Big Bad Dick (Big Dick)

Now, we're pretty close, I guess you might say
And well, we're sort of attached, in a particular way
We each do our own thing, until occasions arise
He's known to hang out with two round chubby guys, Big Dick
(Big Dick, Big Dick) Big Bad Dick (Big Dick)

A week ago he fell sick..with a Cialis hard attack
It brought on a slight stroke, but lately, good ones are back
And once, he got in a tussle,.over a Cajun Queen
He got licked by that gal..She said her name was Jolene, (Jolene)

Hasn't gotta' lotta' hobbies, sort of a lay-back galoot
But, at times, he deep she-dives in a tight rubber suit
And Dick has courteous manners, a polite little pup
Whenever ladies enter a room, he's the first to stand up, Big Dick
(Big Dick, Big Dick) Big Bad Dick (Big Dick)

Made a doctor's visit, when he caught bad bugs
Never drinks, at all, but has been seen between jugs
He's not the show-off kind, who'll wear a bunch a' bling bling
But, now and again, he's known to slip on a ring, Big Dick
(Big Dick, Big Dick) Big Bad Dick (Big Dick)

Some call him by a nickname, like Willie, Woody, or Fred
And although, he's not a golfer, he's a real Tiger in bed
Likes to watch exotic ladies play and pose around a pole,
Stays away from investing, always winds up in the hole..Big Dick
(Big Dick, Big Dick) Big Bad Dick (Big Dick)

Dick never talks at all, he's kind a' quiet and shy
Ya' wouldn't call him a joiner, but he's a member at the "Y"
There are times, we double up out on the tennis court
Hell, he's the best friend I got, I give him all my support, Big Dick
(Big Dick, Big Dick) Big Bad Dick (Big Dick)

FADE (Big Dick, Big Dick) Big Bad Dick (Big Dick)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 5   12
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User Comments

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alvin rhodes - September 01, 2006 - Report this comment
every fellow needs a friend like that....great write
Michael Pacholek - September 01, 2006 - Report this comment
At first I thought this was about Cheney. Then Nixon. Then Richard III. Instead, it was a page out of the Johnny D him-nal. There's a hundred puns I could use to tell you how I gave this a five, but I'd better not use any of them.
John Barry - September 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Big Fives. Alternate title could be Big John[son].
Matthias - September 01, 2006 - Report this comment
I am amazed what you can slide past Chucky...... Or slide in Chucky......
Dee Range - September 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Since Johnny D. is seldom here anymore, I will give a typical Johnny D. comment. I'm Dee Range(d), and I approve of this parody. Top notch. You should definitely record this for Dr Demento.
AFW - September 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, alvin, yup, Dick's a good buddy.......................thanks, Michael, guess it could have been about any of those you mention............thanks, John, true, good point there.................thanks, Matthias..actually, nothing sexual about this...it's all in the mind of the reader.......and thanks, Dee...not into recording..but good idea
TJC - September 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Fantastic! Many funny and unpredictable great lines! Keep it `up'!
Stuart McArthur - September 01, 2006 - Report this comment
brilliant AFW - you got all the double entendres, and then some new ones - loved the rubber suit! - 555
JP - September 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Dirty, clever and hilarious. 5's.
PMS - September 02, 2006 - Report this comment
"Member at the Y" LOL
AFW - September 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks to TJC, Stuart, JP, and PMS
Meriadoc - September 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Ha ha - like MP I was kinda expecting Nixon too....
AFW - September 04, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Meriadoc

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