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Song Parodies -> "Elton John"

Original Song Title:

"Big Bad John"

Original Performer:

Jimmy Dean

Parody Song Title:

"Elton John"

Parody Written by:

Alvin Rhodes

The Lyrics

(sir john...sir john)
every evenin' for a while, you could see him play live
he stood five foot six and weighed one-twenty-five
kinda slim in the shoulders and pudgy in the hips
and everyone agreed the dude was quite a trip..sir john
(sir john....sir johnnnnnn)...elton john...(sir john)

no tresses seemed to grow on john's bald dome
so he drifted into town and had some transplants sewn
it didn't grow much...kinda frizzy and fried
and if it grew at all, it was doomed to die...on sir john

somebody said they knew him in his teens
he almost, overnight, became a ragin' queen
add some crashin' chords from a huge rock band
and this loony sorta fella landed lots of fans...sir john
(sir john....sir johnnnnnn)...elton john...(sir john)

then came the day, he faced the end of the line
filled the record racks...but the folks weren't a-buyin'
people were sayin' that the hits were past
and everybody thought that they had heard the last...of sir john

he's a bust..he's a joke...and he looks like hell
he's a whiny little man, whose new stuff won't sell
so this saggin' singer emitted a groan
and like a sad little king, he just gave up his throne...sir john
(sir john....sir johnnnnnn)...elton john...(sir john)

he's had plenty of hits...he'd felt mighty love
but his agent yelled out, "folks are sick of your stuff"
and twenty years after he was all the rage
stood this little bald dude of advancin' age...sir john

his hands, still limber...he wouldn't back down
he called up taupin and he came 'round
and when bernie boy threw out a few lines
elton kinda thought that maybe things would be fine...for sir john
(sir john....sir johnnnnnn)...elton john...(sir john)

but they never discovered that final hit
even though they really took a stab at it
no good songs were written by these men
though the early ones were fine.......
he's a big...has-been..sir john
(sir john....sir johnnnnnn)...elton john...(sir john)
(sir john...sir john...sir john)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

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Johnny D - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
5s, hilarious and so poignantly true, Alvin!
Chuck A. Spear - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Ain't dat the truth?! Remember before he came out of the closet...when he used to sing cool songs? Now he sings like the sissy he is......
Rick D - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
I just noticed that you passed 500 parodies (though I know with the south park stuff it's more) Congrats, it's quite a milestone, and I'm proud to share your company in the top ten.
Johnny D - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey, that's right --- please accept my belated congratulations on your crossing the 500 parody threshold, Alvin --- welcome to The FiveWrite Zone!
John Barry - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm belton this one out and chucklin'. 5s
Paul Robinson - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Great job, alvin...yes, performers need writers to create the songs...unless they happen to be good writers themselves...two different things, usually. You wrote a good one...hey...may you could get Elton to perform it...e-mail a link to him...5's ~ ~ ~
Dee Range - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Terriffic, alvin. And they still pay him to perform in Vegas. Why, I don't know. If Elvis was still alive, they could perform onstage together as THE KING AND QUEEN OF VEGAS. 5's
alvin rhodes - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks johnny chuck rick john paul and dee
Tim Hall - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
If anyone comes to Caesars Palace in Vegas, there is a gift shop honoring the subject of this song.
AFW - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Good storyline...consistent and well crafted
alvin rhodes - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks tim and AFW
Meriadoc - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Good parody. I embarrassingly admit that the first concert I ever went to was to see Elton in '74. My parents actually paid for the tickets (for me, a friend, brother and sister-in-law) and my mother made me 'dress up nice' to go.... :-P
Rick C - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Belated congrats on 500 alvin. Sorry, I didn't realize it. I'm not ashamed to say I've seen Elton John about six times. Every show was phenomenal. The bands were tight as hell and, EJ was an incredible showman. Of course, those concerts were all in the 70s. I don't think I'd pay to see him now. Wonderful job here....555
alvin rhodes - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks merry and rick...there are few artists i've had such a love / hate relationship with as elton
Stuart McArthur - July 24, 2005 - Report this comment
yeah, you nailed him here beautifully, alvin - although I'm a closet Goodbye Yellow Brick Road album fan - I never get sick of it - 555

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