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Song Parodies -> "Moscow Instead"

Original Song Title:

"Mr. Ed TV Theme Song"

Original Performer:

Jay Livingston

Parody Song Title:

"Moscow Instead"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The role of horses in WW2 on the German side was massive, even with Blitzkrieg. The German horses were used to transport heavy weapons, troops, resupply ammunition, tow field kitchens, bring forward the rations, and carriage of the wounded, supplies, and baggage. Just for the planned "Operation Sea Lion" in 1940, the Germans were to land 175,000 troops, 34,000 AFVs, and 57,500 horses in many waves (4,000 just for the first and 7000 for the second)!!! But this was nothing compared to Operation Barbarossa- the greatest land invasion in history over a 2000 mile line. The Germans invaded with 4000 aircraft, 3 million men, 3350 tanks, 600,000 AFVs, and 700,000 horses!!! The Germans had so many horses that were attached to the infantry that they could never join the panzers with their supply trucks for Blitzkrieg. The horses limited the speed of advance and cross-country movement. It was the US that had the ability to move infantry with tanks at the regimental level. The Germans with the slower horses clogged the roads and bridges and actually impeded their own re-supply with mechanized vehicles!!! As a side note, the German Mountain Troops wanted a substitute for horses and donkeys, preferably something mechanical. A rather odd proposal came in for a mechanical horse- the Panzerpferd!!! This was based on the Italian Iron Dobbin machine prototype. But this was ultimately rejected even with one prototype under construction. Instead, the LW paras got an airborne mini-scooter under development. The Panzerpferd would have used up a lot of German motorcycle engines from the German Army and so that was rejected... Hitler's horse, BTW, was Nordlicht (North Light) which was captured by the US Army and shipped home.
A German horse is a horse
Even in Blitzkrieg, of course
And in war civilians can use a horse,
Of course
That is of course
Unless the horse
Is destined for Moscow instead!

Europe was the source
To provide the horse
700,000 needed Hitler endorsed
Add to 600,000 vehicles on course
Destined for Moscow instead!

The Germans had a target to reach
And to help them along their way
Almost three-quarters of a million Equi
Were used for transport, forget cavalry!

Oh, a German horse is a horse
Even in Blitzkrieg, of course
And this Equine Army carried weapons of course
OMG, what a sizeable force!!!

For the Heer and Waffen SS:
Destined for Moscow instead!!!
(In Berlin, civilians ate horses that were dead)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Patrick - August 15, 2011 - Report this comment
In the novel "Winds of War" the author makes note of the heavy dependence of German Wehrmacht on horsed, a dependence that did not diminish even as more mechanized vehicles went into service. An interesting aspect of WWII not often covered in other history sources.
WCJ - August 15, 2011 - Report this comment
So many horses in power for Hitler, guess that's where the term "horsepower" came from! LOL!! :-D Great one Rob! 5's! :-)
Rob Arndt - August 15, 2011 - Report this comment
Most people also don't know that Hitler has a personal horse and no middle-name! Wait until I do a parody of Hitler's personal yacht the Aviso Grille! His aircraft were the Ju-52, Fw-200, Ju-290, and emergency Bv-222. Back to the horses- Germany used so many animals in WW2 and horses were just part of the war effort. Germans used pigeons, dogs, even elefants for the war work or as secret weapons.
Rob Arndt - August 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Just for Patrick- a Donkeyfaust (Eselfaust):
WCJ - August 16, 2011 - Report this comment
I didn't know that Hitler didn't have a middle name, but I bet we could think of a lot of middle names for him. :-)

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