By the time I got to South Park I'll be cooking
I'll see the boys give them wisdom and advice
And I'll laugh when he hears them say the things that they say
'Cause they're eight years old don't know what they mean

By the time the fest comes to South Park I'll be makin'
My special chocolate balls big salty and brown
Put them in your mouth for a quick pick me up
do you like my balls

By the time the boys get to fourth grade I'll be singing
Singing to the boys about the real facts of life
And I'll try to make sense about the whole damn thing
Though time and time they don't get it at all
Oh, Chef just didn't know

Chef just didn't know
Chef just didn't know
Cartman's mom is a dirty slut
Why did Kenny have to die so many times?
Stan barfs on Wendy when she comes by
Mr. Mackey says drugs are bad
Garrison denies he's gay
Cartman's anal probe is burning
The aliens won't leave
Mecha Streisand is such a bitch
Mr Hankey is the christmas poo
He's coming out of you (multi-trumpet fanfare)
Kyle says that he learned something today
South Park Cows won the state
I had to whore myself to the whole town (multi-trumpet fanfare)
Today was salisbury steak day
Why did the boys want to be raging lesbians?
Matt and Trey hated Scientology (multi-trumpet fanfare)
Butters' parents were so controlling
Timmy just keeps saying Timmy