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Song Parodies -> "Finishin' a Fifth"

Original Song Title:

"Henry the Eighth"

Original Performer:

Herman's Hermits

Parody Song Title:

"Finishin' a Fifth"

Parody Written by:

Dee Range

The Lyrics

The following is based on a true story, except the parts I exaggerated and made up. Sheik is a brand name of condom.
I'm finishin' a fifth I am
Finishin' a fifth of gin I am
I got snockered with the stripper next door
We tried shaggin' on her shag-less floor

But every time I tried entering (entering)
I could not get my Willie in her clam (well damn!)
I'm a limp old man, so finishin'
Finishin' a fifth I am

Second verse, bad turns to worse

I'm rollin' on a Sheik I am
Rollin' on a Sheik, XL, I am
I was wantin' to see Alice next door
Took Cialis and I swallowed four

But even though she was int'rested (int'rested)
She said "That ain't a Willie, it's a Ram (well damn!)
That's a tent pole, man, yer brandishin'
No way it'll fit my clam"

Things get worse, I start to curse

I'm playin' with my self, I am
Playin' with my self,, I am, I am
I'm priapic and my willie is sore
Six days later and it's still engorged

I never did get it slippery (slippery)
I couldn't find a Sasquatch with a clam (No clam)
As I lay in bed I'm finishin'
Finishin' myself by hand


Finishin' myself by hand

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   17

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Song title cop - May 01, 2006 - Report this comment
I enjoy it...but TOS is actually called "I'm Henry VIII, I Am". Regardless of what it's called, I still like it.
carol - May 01, 2006 - Report this comment
5 hands
Paul Robinson - May 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Song Cop, are you sure about that title remark? Well, whatever, this was a hoot. 5's ~ ~ ~
Rick C - May 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Ah, a fun OS with a new DeeRangement! FUNNY! High-fives!
alvin rhodes - May 01, 2006 - Report this comment
i'm just finishing LAUGHING...this is great
AFW - May 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Naughty and funny...perfect combo..5's
PMS - May 01, 2006 - Report this comment
I gotta hand it to ya! I like the OS (great singalong tune) but I like these words MUCH better. LOL Great word plays
Tommy Turtle - May 01, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL!!!!!!! Aliteration and perfect pacing to OS made a great and rioutous singalong. See if you can find a place to stick this Fifteen incher.

Very nice of the Cop to have let you off with a warning -- official HH website says (s)he's right.... wish all cops were so nice.
Agrimorfee - May 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Here's three 5's to keep your sore hand company. (funny and gloriously filthy)
Paul Robinson - May 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Hmmm...TT - That's the title I used on my parodies of this song...well, then it MUST be
Matthias - May 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow!!! Tent Pole Dee?! I'm amazed!!! You're packing some 5-5-5's!!!
Michael Pacholek - May 01, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm wracking my brain to come up with a good comment, but I'm getting nothing from my head. Oh well, here's a five.
Red Ant - May 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, seems our Dee Range has been on a tear again. Loved this! High 5s.
stonecat - May 01, 2006 - Report this comment
LOLOL!! Dee, you are on a funny roll! Promise me you'll do this Wednesday night,at MacHenry's. I'm bringing the gang from my old bar in Arlington. Most of them haven't heard any of your new stuff, since you moved .
Stuart McArthur - May 02, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL! Hilarious Dee - I see you started with the idea of a fifth of gin, and then naturally from there you took the logically progression to incapable clams ;-) trademark Dee Range - 555
Dee Range - May 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks all, for all the funny comments, which are always better even than the votes. I am sorry to be so tardy with this thank you, but my sister Patty was re-admitted to the hospital Sunday evening with a reoccurrance of blood clots in her left leg and arm, a dangerous by-product of her terminal stage pancreatic cancer. I came home yesterday to shower and answer the phone messages and return her email, and back to the hospital. They have dissolved the clots with intravenous Lovenox, used for deep vein thrombosis, and she may be released Thursday. Her last wish is to go to Hot Springs Arkansas this weekend to soak in the thermal baths, and I pray she will last that long. Her time is drawing near, and despite heavy dosages or morphine, remains in considerable pain. Thank you all for your prayers and concern...just wanted to give a quick update and apologize for not being able to review any parodies this week. I'm back to the hospital to help her through the night. Will return with an update when I can.
Stuart McArthur - May 03, 2006 - Report this comment
it must be a very hard time Dee - keep strong, and keep us posted

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