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Song Parodies -> "The Morons and Lilian"

Original Song Title:

"The Mountains And Maryann"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Morons and Lilian"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Don't know if too many of you will be familiar with the original. It's a really nice early Lightfoot song off "Did She Mention My Name" and appears on a lot of his collections. I got it off "Early Morning Rain, The Best of Gordon Lightfoot". Anyway, the other day I wrote a parody for a sick "amiright" colleague. This one is for my Manager, Lilian, and all the people in our Department. Over the next 7 months we all are being sent on our way incrementally and our jobs are moving to the mid-west where they can pay about 25% less and weaker overtime rules apply. Hey, maybe this is my next gig; condolences and get-well parodies for all occasions. How does "PaulMark" sound? I'll be mentioning my work colleagues in the bottom notes section here. Oh, we support a professional Income Tax Preparation Software, so FYI - "FID" refers to "Fiduciary Estate and Trust Returns". "FAQ's" are "Frequently asked Questions" and are pronounced phonetically as "eff-ay-cues".
What the hell, I knew some day this gig would have to end
Soon my job's a memory, but Lilian's still my friend
But the morons stopped Lilian from doing a great job
And next year when the queue is packed, they'll wish that they could have her back to straighten out their mess
Go to hell, I won't go back to Wichita this time
I don't know what lies ahead but know that I'll be fine
Writing satires and parodies will have to be my role
And in the unemployment line, the jobs I see might still surprise and stimulate my brain
For the morons told Lilian she couldn't save our jobs though she tried to

I can tell, right now I'm on a FID call straight from hell
And the network's going so damn slow the program doesn't run too well
But Support Tips and FAQ's will help me through this call
And I've got my open calls all tracked, I know the ones I must call back before I go away
What the hell, the next release will fix the problem fine
And the Queries that they wouldn't fix won't be my problem in short time
And the corporate men can still pretend that everything is fine
And the CEO's who gave us gas
Well they can go and kiss my ass; yes, you kiss my behind
Writing hot-tempered parodies will satisfy my soul
And the deadlines that lie ahead, the problems with the letterheads won't bother me for long
As the morons tell Lilian she doesn't need experience in the queue

What the hell, I got my pink slip in my mail tonight. They let us go because they are so god-damn freaking tight
And the deadlines that lie ahead, the problems with the letterheads won't bother me at all
'Cause the morons who run this show will let us go because they lack a clue

Well, guys, I'm out of here soon. We've still got the party of the 16th at Lilian's and of course Larry and I will be performing one of my parody selections that I posted on this site, "Bong Time Coming" about Tommy Chong's conviction for selling bongs. We've been practicing and trying to figure out how two of us can make it happen. Progress has been made. When I posted the parody originally I referenced Cheech Marin in error and one of my "amiright" friends; "Johnny D" was nice enough to point it out to me. You might want to look around the site at his and some of the other authors work. There is a lot of really funny, well-done stuff here. You can either click on "New Entries" or go to the "Parody Authors" list to find stuff. Or look up original song titles and go from there. I'm also doing one for Sabry, "It's All Bullshit" to the Beatles original "It's All Too Much" that I will just do with the original recording if I can come up with it. The one I'm posting here? Not sure if I will just play it or try to sing it with the record. We'll have to see. Anyway....I want to thank all of you for your kindness, understanding and camaraderie for the past 6 years. It's been great and I will miss you all. I need to thank Orville, without whom I would not even have known about the job. He initially encouraged me to apply and kind of nudged me a little when I was hesitating. Then John, who taught us all so well when we were new. Joe, who knows Consolidations from "A to Tsze". To my friend and carpool buddy, Larry; there are just too many things that you've done for me to even begin to mention them here. Solely on a professional level you are greatly responsible for a large part of what I have done here (Lilian, he's not responsible for the crazy stuff, I swear). On a personal level, well, all I can say is you are a true friend and a true "mensch". To Mary, Colleen, Mariam, Tracie, & Mona: thanks for putting up with some of our male antics through the years. Mary & Mariam, thanks especially for the encouragement with my writing. I will make sure to send you my poems & stuff after I leave. Colleen, some day maybe I'll see the same seals or sea lions you see out at the beach. Mona, glad I could share some of my rowdier writings with you. Even if nobody else ever read it I would have done it just to hear you giggle over the cubicle walls. Oh...GO USC! Tracie, you are one of the better sports I've ever been around. Take care of the little one. Sabry...ah Sabry, "Swami Fahmy"...yes, it is all bullshit, but you have made it a lot of fun. I'm glad you enjoyed my humor. Mark, thanks for all your help with Partnership and for all the "Please go on available" Network Broadcast messages. When I get set up at home I want you to send me one of those, OK? Narain, thanks for all the humor items you passed on to me. To Stephen M; Huge thanks for all the pictures to play with and more seriously for lending me your web-surfing expertise on so many occasions. I especially appreciated the Cable Regulators contact list. Hey, I got the $4.48 overcharge back from those bastards at Comcast!! So I figure I owe you 10% (45 cents). Nansan, we didn't really get to know each other too well but I've enjoyed working with you. And finally, OC...just about the only person who can get me to re-evaluate any of my political views. Your reservoir of knowledge and powers of observation, deducton and logic are truly impressive. Your sister is right about you. Your friendship and professional help have been invaluable. Actually, I just remembered a second time you were wrong about something (besides the one where you had thought you were mistaken); remember when we were first placed in cubes next to one another? We were talking about the song "If You Want To Be Happy For The Rest of Your Life" and I mentioned it was done by Jimmy Soul and you said it was U.S. Bonds. The next day you came in with a printout off the web showing that Jimmy Soul had indeed done that number, although you did point out that he used U.S. Bonds band for his back-up (a useful bit of information I was pleased to add to my trivia knowledge bin). Well, that's everyone still here. Of course, I must mention Charles, Barry, Khurram, Alex and Kyoko who have managed to hook on in other areas or locations with the company. Good folks, too. Khurram, I miss the ping-pong. Charles, it was fun and the Lakers won every year since you got here until the last one. Probably was a bad omen for our jobs. I'll have to rag Swami Fahmy for not predicting it. And the Steve W's, , who left earlier. Miss you guys. Well, this is long enough. Oh wait, LILIAN!! Yeah, best boss I've ever had, and that's no bullshit. Thanks for everything. You did a helluva job and you deserved a lot better for it. Jeez, it's a good thing they don't charge me by the word here. Stick a fork in me 'cause now I'm done.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

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Rick D - December 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Don't tell us you're leaving us, Paul. Keep writing and posting okay?
Ethan Mawyer - December 08, 2003 - Report this comment
I think the goodbye is to his co-workers
Paul Robinson - December 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Rick D - No, I'm not leaving "amiright", hell, I'm not leaving anything. The job is leaving ME. Actually, you may end up with more of me on "amiright" than you can stand. What WILL be happening is sometime very soon I have to get hooked up for Internet at home (been meaning to do it anyway). Which means I need a new computer (also been meaning to do that, too. My "been meaning to list" is getting really unwieldly, you know? It now has "review 'been meaning to' list" on it. 486/25mghz probably would not deal with getting on-line very well). But they are cheap now (other people's U.S. jobs going somewhere else, but that was when it happened to THEM). Until 12/31 I'll still be able to post from work. Oh, I seem to recall you mentioned that you perform occasionally up there? I'm planning on visiting an old friend up in Humboldt county after my job ends and if there is a certain place and date to point towards I'd really like to see you play. I'll be driving from the L.A. area and had decided I would not try to do it in one day so I was figuring to book a room en route and San Jose seems about as good as anywhere and is a bit past half-way of the total trip. It would be in the first or 2nd week of January, probably. Let me know if there is a date & place around that time frame and I'll drop in. If you want to e-mail me: thanks. pr.
Rick D - December 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Paul, If you're coming through, Mari and I play at an open mic every Thursday at a little coffeehouse called Espresso Garden. (They have website) 814 Bascom ave, San Jose. Usually from 7:00 to 10:30 or so, very casual good group of folk musicians. Leah Lockhart is a local and may come by also. We usually do comedy songs and have even done a few parodies from this site. You can download one of our songs from the South Bay Folks website or the Espresso Garden one. (You have to click on "Write a song or some such weird link) I used to live in L.A. Great town to get away from. Let us know.
Leah Lockhart - December 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Did someone say "Amiright Party???" Great parody Paul, believe it or not I actually own this song.
Paul Robinson - December 10, 2003 - Report this comment
Rick D - Thanks, It'll probably be in the first week or two of January. I just checked with my friend up North and their cool with me coming up so I just have to see what I might need to around here before I go because I may want to kick back a while and decompress from the job trip. We've known since the end of April we were being dumped and while I was glad to stay and make the extra bread in the interim it's also kind of weird. I'll let you know from this site when I actually have determined when I'm coming up. Mari D - Sorry to hear your flu'd now. Leah - "Amiright" party sounds like fun. Hope to see you there when I come up. Thanks for the remark. I'm glad somebody on the site had the song. I knew there was a possiblity nobody would know it, it's not one of Lightfoot's better known works, although I've always liked it. So I guess you aren't the person who "1"'d me. I don't think the work was bad so it must have been the "1-er". If they are trying to hurt my feelings they should know they are way TOO late, because that's been done before & more than once I'd have to say. Been busy today so didn't have a chance to hop on the site until just now. Thanks everyone.
Leah Lockhart - December 10, 2003 - Report this comment
Hey, I saw your note... dang, sorry dude! ;-) Round of 5's coming up! Why can they make it so you can vote and comment at the same time??
Paul Robinson - December 11, 2003 - Report this comment
Leah, Thanks. I KNOW! The first 4 or 5 days I was voting on the site I probably stiffed 20 people. Here you are trying to give somebody a good score AND a compliment and you deliver the mustard without the hot dog. I didn't know it wasn't recording the votes when I marked the boxes and then went down to make the comments. I didn't realize it until someone dunned ME on it. Ouch! I wouldn't have even thought about the vote numbers except Mr. 1-derful appears to have nailed me for the first time. In fact I'll be making a parody posting today on that. Take a look at it tomorrow. Deep thanks for the votes and remarks. I was jazzed that someone actually knew the song so they could match it up. Otherwise it's just one of those trees (or mimes) that fall in the forest without anybody around.
ChuckyG - December 11, 2003 - Report this comment
I'm going to modify the page layouts, so that it makes mention of the fact that comments and voting are seperate. Clearly people are getting confused.
Paul Robinson - December 11, 2003 - Report this comment
Chucky G, that's a grand idea. Love the site and the folks on it. Good stuff, Many thanks.

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