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Song Parodies -> "Going to Die"

Original Song Title:

"Wichita Lineman"

Original Performer:

Glenn Campbell

Parody Song Title:

"Going to Die"

Parody Written by:

David Kirschbaum (AKA Toad)

The Lyrics

Another song from the Warbirds flight sim's Wingless Cafe (a virtual fighter pilot's bar). Our Hero, the unmelodious Toad, destroys a 12-string guitar with his claws while bellowing a ballad about different ways to die in his beloved flight sim (full of ethnic slurs and slams and Warbirds / flight sim slang). Original is imbedded in an action-packed story. Here we have only the lyrics. Hardly the same :-)
I am a gunner for a bomber
And I fly all the time,
Looking in the sun for another 109.
I see them dive from all directions,
The tracers filling the sky,
And the volunteer gunner
Is going to dieeeeeeee!

I'm in a Val above the ocean,
Whitecaps kissing the gear,
On the deck and sweating as the fleet is drawing near.
I see those bent wings right behind me,
Tracers filling the sky,
And the torpedo pilot
Is going to dieeeeeeee!

We're a Zeke squadron for the Emp'ror,
And we circle the fleet,
Waiting for the foe in our fighters obsolete.
The SBD's shoot our wings off,
Burning wreckage fills the sky,
And the IJN pirot
Is going to dieeeeeeee!

Luftwaffe pilots at the ready,
Fighters vulching our strip.
Yankee numbers beat good German craftsmanship!
We'd shoot down all their bombers
If our Komets we could fly,
And the Luftwaffe pilot
Is going to dieeeeeeee!

Stiff upper lips are our trademark,
We sneer at Luftwaffe Schwarms.
Food is indigestible, the beer is always warm.
Lucas has wired our aircraft,
Ignition circuits now fry.
And the RAF pilot
Is going to dieeeeeeee!

Brave Navy pilots in our Wildcats,
Guns all loaded for bear,
Roaring off the deck in asbestos underwear.
We would all live forever
If a mirror we'd buy,
And the brave Navy Pilot
Is going to dieeeeeeee!

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