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Song Parodies -> "Tahitian Lineman"

Original Song Title:

"Wichita Lineman"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Glen Campbell

Parody Song Title:

"Tahitian Lineman"

Parody Written by:

Lifeliver

The Lyrics

One of my favorite 60s evergreens. Glenn effortlessly evoked that big-sky country with his southern-burred tenor, especially in this classic Jimmy Webb tune, and played his own lead guitar too. Sadly he's now battling Alzheimer's.

Fletcher Christian's mutineers got away with it, and some of their descendants still reside on remote Pitcairn Island, where they fell prey to a history of incest among many other privations. Others decided to take their chances by staying put on Tahiti with their exotic playmates rather than report for the drudgery of life at sea: 'rum, sodomy and the lash', as Captain Bligh himself described the navy. My protagonist was one of the latter crewmen. An unwise choice as you will see. Bligh's fabled lifeboat journey across 3000 miles of Pacific Ocean to Batavia (Jakarta) is still regarded as one of the greatest feats of individual seamanship and navigation.

TAHITIAN LINEMAN

I am a seaman on the Bounty
On that salt South Sea road
Searchin' in the sun for another breadfruit load
I hear them whinging 'bout ol' Bligh, ah
We get rum and he gets wine
But it ain't no good to whine, man
You'll swing from a line

She glowed, Tahitian island maiden
Ship's now loaded, what a pain
And heaven knows if Fletcher's mouth
Won't ever stand the strain
And he's heading for a mutiny
But this island is so fine
With my Polynesian woman
On fresh fruit we dine

They departed and they did it
But I stayed and bode my time
Bligh sailed back, they came and caught me
Swinging from a line

original recording on YouTube here

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   1
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 3   3
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 4   3
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 5   3
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User Comments

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Lifeliver - May 08, 2013 - Report this comment
My votecard wtf?
Jonathan - May 08, 2013 - Report this comment
hmm that is peculiar LL well here's my score: 455
Callmelennie - May 08, 2013 - Report this comment
I'll second your WTF, LL. It's the oddest distribution I've ever seen. I'm getting a little concerned about our beloved website to tell the truth; submissions and enthusiasm and viewership seem to be at all time lows. We also seem to be suffering an infestation of trolls as well.
Patrick - May 08, 2013 - Report this comment
Ever since I read the Bounty trilogy when I was in High School, I have been fascinated by the story. Saw most of the movies, too. One writer believes Bligh and Christian had a 'don't ask don't tell" relationship on their way out from England, and the mutiny was triggered in part by Christian's refusal to resume the position when the Bounty set sail for home. Heard about the incest trials. Hard to lock up someone on an island with no real jail. I concur with your observation that this site is deteriorating rapidly. Seems to be happening to a lot of good things these days.
Lifeliver - May 09, 2013 - Report this comment
Interesting comment, Patrick. The Bligh-Christian conflict seems to capture people's imagination, and anything is possible. Certainly Bligh got a bad rap - he was a competent administrator and outstanding naval officer, and his disciplinarianism was an admirable asset in those days - certainly not the splenetic, tyrranical monster he's been made out to be by the likes of Charles Laughton. I thought the Anthony Hopkins version was pretty good, Mel Gibson notwithstanding.

As far as the site deteriorating, well it was Lennie who said that. The site is what we ourselves make it by consistently producing good, entertaining parodies. That said, I can't help noticing that even in my short time here (eight months), I've seen a number of very talented contributors drop out or reduce their visits - why is not for me to say. They tended to be the ones who took an interest in my own efforts, so I miss their positive strokes. In fact last week I posted two pieces which attracted no votes or comments at all, the first time that's happened.

Not that I really need them. I come here to play and to share creative juices with like-minded souls. There are some who have political and ideological barrows to push, and I believe it's one of those who is entering the site under various IP addresses and sabotaging the voting system with gratuitous fives and ones. But the voting system is a joke anyway so who cares?
Patrick - May 09, 2013 - Report this comment
I quit the numerical voting system a long time ago, and continue to announce that, since there are times when I may be the first, or the only one to comment, after someone has left an anonymous numerical vote. It wouldn't bother me if the 111 - 555 system were dumped all together. I am in regular contact with one of the old timers who was a stickler for quality, to the point that many began to denounce him for it. The site is now worse off for his absence. I don't mean to disparage anyone, but today (Thursday) there are only three parodies posted, all 10 line songs, based on originals I've never heard of. One was a reference to the Cleveland sex slave kidnappings which offended a writer who lives in Cleveland. Many writers, myself included, have political agenda (that is the plural form, according to you may know who). Parody in service of politics is an ancient and hallowed tradition, and I have seen many a good song promoting someone's vision, left or right. I enjoy controversy. It means that someone took the time to read what I had written and express an opinion. A lot of us are, I think, of an "earlier" generation and we may not be familiar with newer music. I recently spent a couple months with my car radio tuned to a more contemporary format, and it was painful, to say the least. There were only two good new songs in all of 2012, that got any airplay, and one instrumental, that I doubt anyone played. I miss the good writers from the past. Maybe they have found more remunerative ways to spend their time. I hope so. I always enjoyed writing for AIR, and at any given moment I keep a few ideas floating around in my head, waiting to find the right time and inspiration to work on them. AIR is too good a thing to let go without trying to improve it.
Lifeliver - May 09, 2013 - Report this comment
@ Patrick
'It wouldn't bother me if the 111 - 555 system were dumped all together'. Agree 100 per cent. For me, it's the comments that are meaningful, as critical as you like, as long as they're in a positive and constructive spirit. I learn something when people come down on me for faults in my work, technical or artistic or factual or whatever. I've even encouraged people to vote me down if they see fit. Wendy Christopher made an interesting suggestion some time ago that only those who leave comments are eligible to vote - not a bad idea if it could be enforced, but there are those who would find a way to corrupt that system too.

'Parody in service of politics is an ancient and hallowed tradition, and I have seen many a good song promoting someone's vision, left or right'. Absolutely, but sharp political satire is expert level stuff, and so many are cheap shots, pet peeves and one-sided diatribes. I tend to 'live and let live' in such cases, and generally don't engage because I'd rather spend the time writing satisfying parodies of my own than 'play chess with the pigeons'. Detailed commentary can be very time-consuming, and polemical discussions can rarely be resolved in a few paragraphs anyway. The current 'hot potato' of gun control, for example, is an issue I just prefer to leave alone; likewise, as a non-American, inter-party sniping and attacks on individual political figures. But I'm quite happy to read with interest others' comments, even though some of them tend to repeat like a broken record.

'A lot of us are, I think, of an "earlier" generation and we may not be familiar with newer music.' Yeah, that definitely applies to me. I turned off the radio for good around 1970. I'm lucky to recognize one or two songs in every round of parodies, which means I tend not to spread myself around much comment-wise. It also means my own choices of OS get few views.

'I miss the good writers from the past.' There have certainly been some fine minds associated with the site over the years. For many of them, it may just have been time to move on. After hundreds of parodies for no reward other than the achievement itself, how long can one keep it up? There's also the matter of time constraints, which vary widely. Some contributors are obviously retired or otherwise idle, while others are too busy scratching a living to find the time. I'm definitely in the latter category. There's also the issue of excess. If you do too many, of course a lot of them are gonna be 'not very good'. I wonder if Chuckie has ever considered putting a limit on some individuals. One parody per round would seem light and reasonable.

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