She was a loin mam of Ness county
Stuck two years on the stool
Boyfriend didn't care, left her there just
Like a fool..

Guess when her boyfriend had to potty
He'd just borrow the neighbor's john
'Cause the Wichita Loin Mam
To his, was stuck on..

Could say she took a long vacation
On that stool with a drain
But in two years, a stuck down south
Can cause a lot of pain..

And her boyfriend just forgot her
How'd she get food all that time?
The poor Wichita Loin Mam
Was not doin' fine...

She was the loin mam of Ness county
And Pam was her first name
Wishin' she was Non-stick
Once she played her crazy game..

She could've used a good stool soft'ner
Plus some booze and bottled wine
Guess the Wichita Loin Mam
Was bathroom inclined..

They say she took a long vacation
On that stool with a drain
Her honeymoon was not that night
Yet in there, she remained..

Why would anybody want to
Stay in there for two years time
Now, the boyfriend might get more years
Ignoring's a crime