I am the very model of a dead Iraqi General,
The battle I commanded seemed to me a bit ephemeral,
I knew the kings Arabian, I quoted fights historical
From Tripoli to Tigres, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with weapons made of chemical,
I duped United Nations, simple minded and dim-witted fools
About bioterror theorem I'm teeming with a lot o'news
With many cheerful facts about viruses we like to use

ALL:
With many cheerful facts about the viruses we like to use
With many cheerful facts about the viruses we like to use
With many cheerful facts about the viruses we like to use

GENERAL:
I was very good at integral and differential calculus;
But then I was assigned to go and blow myself up in a bus
I knew the scientific names of all unstable elements
In matters biological, chemical and nuclear,
I am the very model of a dead Iraqi General.

ALL:
In matters biological, chemical and nuclear,
I am the very model of a dead Iraqi General.


GENERAL:
Our friends in Europe are the Germans and the cowards lead by Jacques Chirac
Our friends in Europe are the Germans and the cowards lead by Jacques Chirac
I answered hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quoted in elegiacs all the crimes of frantic Baath Party Loyalous
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
I launched my scuds at Israel from launchers that I didn't have
Our Information Minister denied it then and winked and laughed
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

ALL:
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

GENERAL:
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:
In matters biological, chemical and nuclear,
I am the very model of a dead Iraqi General.


ALL:
In matters biological, chemical and nuclear,
I am the very model of a dead Iraqi General.

GENERAL:
In fact, I now know what is meant by "Shock" and "Awe",
That Tomahac cruise missile was the last thing that I ever saw
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",
NowI have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
I knew more of modern tactics than a novice in a nunnery--
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy,
You'll say a deader-aqi General has never sat a gee.


ALL:
You'll say a deader-aqi General has never sat a gee.
You'll say a deader-aqi General has never sat a gee.
You'll say a deader-aqi General has never sat a gee.

GENERAL:
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
In matters biological, chemical, and nuclear,
I am the very model of a dead Iraqi General.

ALL:
In matters biological, chemical, and nuclear,
I am the very model of a dead Iraqi General.