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Song Parodies -> "The Bayer Necessities"

Original Song Title:

"The Bear Necessities"

Original Performer:

From, "The Jungle Book"

Parody Song Title:

"The Bayer Necessities"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

We need the Bayer necessities,
Bayer aspirin necessities
To save our bodies from a surgeon's knife
I mean the Bayer necessities
Each day take one, no less a' these
They are the Bayer necessities of life

Have handy a bottle by your brush and comb
For what's in your chest, keep them in your home
A must for an emergency
The gift of life for you and me
Carry in pockets of jeans and pants
Be prepared for any circumstance
A life alert for you..

The Bayer necessities of life should be with you
Should be with you!

I said the Bayer necessities
These little round necessities
Can save your body from the surgeon's knife
I mean the Bayer necessities
Each day take one, no less a' these
They are the Bayer necessities of life

Wherever you wander, wherever you roam
They'll spare you from yonder, that Big Ol' Sky Home
Keep your heart buzzin' strong and true
And give your Honey gift of you.
Spend many birthdays with her, to dance
Enjoy the "Coulds" and avoid the "Can'ts"
Just pop 'em, one, or two..

Your grandsons need their Pawpaw
Not an empty chair
Reaper will say, "Naw Naw"
If Bayer's there
You need your ticker, kids need a Paw
When blood pressure skids,
Or pain in the jaw
They'll save you from the Devil's claw
They're the greatest meds you'll ever see/saw
Have 'em handy, one or two..

The Bayer necessities of life right there by you
Right next to you

Heart attacks are the facts, so cool it
And reduce it, your backyard
Start slimmin' down and fit in those old britches
Don't go snackin' on Big Mac's, huh uh..
I'm tellin' ya', Pard..

Give a break to your chair, pity the ground
And that old white pill, keep it around
You might find out you can't live without it
Keep singin' this song and thinkin' about it
In box, or bottle, too..

The Bayer necessities of life are there for you

I said the Bayer necessities
Those little round necessities
Can save your body from the surgeon's knife
I mean the Bayer necessities
Each day take one, no less a' these
They are the Bayer necessities of life..

They are the Bayer necessities of life..

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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User Comments

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Barry J. Mitchel - June 15, 2012 - Report this comment
You went right to the heart of the matter on this one, without o-stent-ation.
Rob Arndt - June 15, 2012 - Report this comment
A parody that touches the heart-555!!! But a dark side of German aspirin was poisoned type recently declassified by the British in a report: Use of poisons by the German Sabotage Service (KV3/414) 1944-1945 Interrogation of captured German sabotage agents revealed that they had been trained in the use of poisons for various purposes, including suicide, assassination, poisoning water wells and contaminating food. German plans to use poison as a post-war weapon included the addition of poisons to alcoholic beverages, the injection of poison into sausages, arsenic in cake and bread, poisoned Nescafe, sugar, aspirin, German cigarettes and chocolate. In particular, the file discusses the use of poisonous cigarette lighters that killed the smoker, poisonous powders and brown pellets which when placed in ashtrays vaporised with the heat of cigar or cigarette ash, killing anyone nearby.
Glen S - June 15, 2012 - Report this comment
GREAT TITLE SUB. And carried well throughout. Lots of great lines, but the 'paw-paw' section stood out especially.
Andria - June 15, 2012 - Report this comment
Good one, AFW! Hope your heart is doing OK... I will need to go on an aspirin regimen soon, I'm back up to 171 pounds and have a high bad cholesterol level. 5s.
AFW - June 15, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks, Barry..good pun, got one of those, and thanks, Rob, interesting aspirin tale, and thanks, Glen, and thanks, Andria..Zocor helps my chol.
Rob Arndt - June 15, 2012 - Report this comment
NP AFW, I take a 81 mg aspirin everyday and keep my Nitro with me ;-D

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