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Song Parodies -> "Americans Fly"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Don Mclean

Parody Song Title:

"Americans Fly"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

Not all that long ago.
Many still remember
No big chore it was to ride the sky
We'd pack our knives and guns and things
And climb aboard those silver wings
As easy as the swatting of a fly

Arrived early, half an hour
No patting down to turn you sour
No searching and no grilling,
Seats would be quickly filling..

A simple task to take that ride
No ulcers, headaches, each time we tried
An airline trip was just a slide
No problems far and wide..

Now, why, why, do Americans fly
It's inflictive and restrictive,
And the fares touch the sky..
Have to wait for flights, unlike wild birdies on high
Makes ya' wanna drive or stay home and cry
Makes ya' wanna stay home and cry..

Wilbur, Orville..sparked this thing
And if they lived today, necks they'd ring
Lindbergh, too, gave it much glow
To fly back then was just like slicing cake
Uncomplicated..no brain ache
Is this progress? Seems like backwards, we go

Must admit I really love the air
Close to heaven when you cruise up there
But all the pre-flight stuff
Makes it just so draggy and rough

I've flown domestic, and I've flown world too
There's is nothing like it..drifting in the blue
But again, I will say to you
How can we take this ride..

Terrorism's ringin'

So, why, why, do Americans fly
Are we stupid, suicidal,
Deaf, and blind in the eye..
Plots planned day & night, from CIA could slip by
Makes ya' wanna drive or stay home and cry
Makes ya' wanna stay home and cry

I respect the laws of gravity
Nature's way to say, up high, don't be
Many things that could bring us down..
There is Murphy's Law that's old as a hill
Says if something can go wrong, it will
And "Victim" is not my favorite noun..

In recent news, structure errors shown
Parts of an airplane, out, have blown
Yet all statistics show,
The safest way to go,
But then "Go" can mean a lot of things
I don't look good in angel's wings
Or in black smoke and flaming things,
On hades bottom side..

Today, it's "Scary"

Then why, why, do Americans fly
With shoe loaders, shorts exploders,
Nuts who rage and get high
Flight attendants have..no patience, angry reply
Makes ya' wanna drive or stay home and cry
Makes ya' wanna stay home and cry

Bathroom walkers, and Olympic talkers
Infants crying and obnoxious gawkers
On long flights..no chance for naps,
Bad seat belts, some won't snap,
Guy in front lying on your lap
Makes you feel like you are caught up in air traps

In the rear the engines roar and zoom
And rough air gives you thoughts of doom
Some couples sneak a chance
To go and find mile high romance
Close behind you, children whine and kick
Each time you move the seat will stick
Or else a squeak, or an awful click
Leaves your nerves tightly tied..

And askin' yourself

Why, why, would Americans fly
Delayed waitin', aggravatin'
That guy's prob'lly a spy..
Center seats, bad eats and negativity's high
Makes ya' wanna drive or stay home and cry
Makes ya' wanna stay home and cry..

When it's meal time there are no prime ribs
Just candy bars and nutty nibs
It's not enough to feed a hen..
And no sky marshal on board every flight
Anxiety can wind us tight
Suspicion haunting time and time again

An extra charge to carry-on
The good old free days, they're all gone
Can't take the things you want,
Through all your stuff, they'll hunt
Tense people stare and make a mental list
Till you feel like a terrorist
And become a real antagonist
At those, by whom, you're eyed

What a mind game,

Why, why would Americans fly
Stress conditions, near collisions,
Makes you wonder who'd try..
Cabin glasses clink, as pilots drink and get high
Makes ya' wanna drive or stay home and cry
Makes ya' wanna stay home and cry..


Still, who are we to sing the blues
'bout transportation that most people choose
And something only they can say..
If they fly they must know the score
Be aware we're in a terror war
All air travel is increasing every day,
The passengers who fly, don't scare
They wouldn't fly if they felt despair
From L.A. to Hoboken,
Flight spirit is unbroken
Changing life styles, terrorists can't boast
Air travel increase, coast to coast
We'll fight 'em world-wide, or be host
And take our freedom ride

While proudly singin'

Here's why we americans fly
After Nine-eleven, and Flight Ninety three's tragic sky
It's for those who died, our flying tribute on high
More than ever us Americans fly
More and more Americans fly

Freedom's ringin'

My, My..How Americans fly
Unrestricted, pride depicted through the wide open sky
Frequent flyer miles just keep on numbering high
Today more and more Americans fly
More and more Americans fly

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Patrick - October 17, 2011 - Report this comment
In the early 1960's there were several airliners brought down by bombs stored in checked baggage. One man was concerned so he asked how he could avoid being blown out of the air. A statistician told him to carry his own bomb with him. There was, the math dude told him, a one in ten million chance of boarding a plane with a bomb on it, while the chance of boarding a flight with "two" bombs on board was only one in 50 zillion. Unfortunately, I have neither fare nor destination, so my staying home is simply that, not a political statement nor boycott.
Old Man Ribber - October 17, 2011 - Report this comment
AFW - Sweeping, panoramic, and epic as a Ken Burns series. More clever lines than there are amenities in First Class. Both my wife and I (and our families) used to go to the airport just to eat, check out the shops, play in the game room, and watch the planes. Today's kids will never know this pleasure, and it's sad. ;D
Porfle Popnecker - October 17, 2011 - Report this comment
Impressive! I used to love flying but I haven't been on a plane since '86 and never will again. My county airport is so small it used to have only one gate, and it was a REAL GATE! You'd walk outside, pass through the gate in the chain link fence and out onto the tarmac to board the plane. Oh yeah, and I actually like airplane food!
Leo Keough - October 17, 2011 - Report this comment
I'm old enough to remember when flying was actually kinda fun...my how times have changed...Nice job of depicting this...555!!!
AFW - October 17, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, Guys
Below Average Dave - October 17, 2011 - Report this comment
I don't anymore, I guess if I was going to Europe or Australia I probably would, but I spend much less to drive and its actually kinda fun to do road trips, interesting parody choice for this much parodied classic

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