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Song Parodies -> "Mr. Molar Guy"

Original Song Title:

"American Pie"

Original Performer:

Don McClean

Parody Song Title:

"Mr. Molar Guy"

Parody Written by:

Alex Silver

The Lyrics

This is funnier if you've taken chemistry....
A long long time ago
I still can remember
When I didn't know about moles at all
I did chemistry equations dry
I couldn't do them, but I tried
They proved to be my downfall

But then our teacher she told me
About something to set me free
A little thing called a mole
That would get me to my goal

It's like a dozen or a pair
at this we all pulled our hair
But then she filled our mental hole
About our friend the mole

So hi, hi mister molar guy
Do some equations on occasion
Or at least we'll try
And we'll use some moles everywhere they apply
And our test scores, they'll be really high
Our test scores will be really high

"First thing to learn," she said,
"First thing in your little heads"
A number so big it's absurd
Named after Mr. Avogadro
Starts off with a six point oh
Ends with a two times ten to the twenty-third

Just use that factor label method
That is all that she said
The number of representative particles
A really large amount of particles

We all made our moles real
Gave us all a better feel
And that made us able to deal
With our friend the mole

So hi, hi mister molar guy
Do some equations on occasion
Or at least we'll try
And we'll use some moles everywhere they apply
And our test scores, they'll be really high
Our test scores will be really high

Next it was time for molar mass
This test is one that we'd all pass
Just look on that periodic table
It's all based off of carbon, yeah
It shows how much a mole weighs, yeah
In chemistry we're now enabled

And so we converted them to each other
One equation after another
Moles to mass to particles
Again with all those particles

And we thought that we were all done
"Oh no," said teacher, "You've just begun
"You're going to have a lot more fun,
With our friend the mole"

She started singin'
Hi, hi mister molar guy
Do some equations on occasion
Or at least we'll try
And we'll use some moles everywhere they apply
And our test scores, they'll be really high
Our test scores will be really high

She told us about analytical chemists
And how they based their premise
Off of moles and all that stuff
Then she told us how to do it
Empirical formulas are the shiznit
If you don't find them too rough

You gotta use the ratios of the reactants
An atom's way smaller than an ant
Then you can find use the molar mass
And find the molecular formula last

"Is that all there is to chemistry?" we asked
"Nope," she said, "there's stoichiometry"
"Oh no," moaned the class, "more chemistry?"
"With our friend the mole?"

So hi, hi mister molar guy
Do some equations on occasion
Or at least we'll try
And we'll use some moles everywhere they apply
And our test scores, they'll be really high
Our test scores will be really high

Stoichiometry wasn't all that bad
Doing it didn't make us sad
Just mass to mole to mole to mass
Using coefficients wisely
Carabell, she praised us highly
We were starting to kickbutt

We dabbled a little in hydrates
We thought those were really great
Boil off that excess H2O
Let that compound's true colors show

We looked a little at percent yield
Actual over theoretical yield
Was there more? Her lips were sealed
About our friend the mole.

She started singing hi, hi mister molar guy
Do some equations on occasion
Or at least we'll try
And we'll use some moles everywhere they apply
And our test scores, they'll be really high
Our test scores will be really high

Finally teacher told us the news
There was no more about moles, we were through
We had learned all we could
But then a smile cracked on her face
The memory of the mole shouldn't be erased
There's something else we should do

"We're not done with chemistry today,
I've just sent you on your merry way.
There's still more to do.
We're far from through!"

And the class all groaned with smiles on
"Cause we could see a new day had dawned
And we'd have more fun now that we're done
With our friend the mole

And we started singin'
Hi, hi mister molar guy
Do some equations on occasion
Or at least we'll try
And we'll use some moles everywhere they apply
And our test scores, they'll be really high
Our test scores will be really high

Hi, hi mister molar guy
Do some equations on occasion
Or at least we'll try
And we'll use some moles everywhere they apply
And our test scores, they'll be really high
Our test scores will be really high
I have another geeky re-write of a classic rock song righthttp://alsilv.dmusic.com/There....if you want to hear a live recording of me doing something close to Stairway to Heaven, go there.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.8
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   2
 2
 1
 
 5   0
 1
 2
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Tokusou Sentai Blessranger - January 20, 2006 - Report this comment
This has to do with dentists.
Red Ant - January 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Pacing is off in the choruses but good parody about chemistry, not dentists like ^ said.
neither "decade police" nor "mr critic" - January 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Pacing is off in some places, like RA said, and TOS was from the 70's. My guess is that the parody author's mouse pointer slipped in the listbox. I don't know whether to rate the pacing at a three or four yet.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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