Why'd you'd like his films,
I can't understand.
Cause this is something everybody, everywhere hates with a
Great passion.

You can see by the ads, my friend,
His films are just no good.
There's just one thing I've got to say. Will you let me, please?
F*ck Uwe.

Say, would you say that he's a modern Ed Wood?
Yes, he making films for twelve or thirteen years now.
Hasn't made one good.
Prob'ly should skin him alive.

Rotten films, Uwe Boll's making. Very bad and cheesy.
Cheesy? That's not the way it's supposed to be.
Video game, he's remaking? Let them be.
Making us very mad and queasy.

Boredom grips us as we watch Bloodrayne.
All we can do is cry out in angry pain.
To like this is to lack a brain.
We are leaving. We don't like this.

Please, take some advice and save your bread.
Stay far away from House Of The Dead.
Far away, watch some TV instead.
You'll be heaving if you see this.

His films are real bad.
Blow-my-brains-out-if-I-see-just-one-more-frame bad.
He should pack his bags and go.