When I see that smile
Now I understand
Cause I saw that you stashed that wooden thumb
below those towels in your baggage

Would you try, please, not to gloat, girlfriend
Leave me a little pride
Still there is one thing I would like to know
Can you tell me please, was it fun?

Hey, you are looking especially merry
Guess that you've used it on most every night this week now
Haven't called me once
Must have fulfilled your sex drive

Wooden thumb in her quarters; very pleased, believe me -
Pleased, it appears because she did not need me,
Several people we both know are teasing me
Hearing it back from them don't please me

(Instrumental break)

Bought it for her as a joke surprise
How was I to know she'd be so satisfied?
Kind of hurts my feelings late at night
Hear your breathing; kind of peeves me

(Instrumental break)

Don't need this "Mister" to lend a hand
This is not exactly what I had planned
Can you say when we'll have sex again?
With that wood thumb you don't need me

(Instrumental break)

It's made my mind bend
She picked a wood thing over me as a lover
Now my ego's pretty blown...