Dropping some gross turds now in the bathroom here
It was messy at best to clean around my rear
I wish this hadn't happened; want to make that clear
Got no thumb on my wipe hand

The brown stuff from my booty smelled so very gross
It stunk the place up bad; my roommate told me so
"Ungodly awful smelling shit"; he held his nose all day
I miss thumb on my wipe hand

I'm starting to wonder if I can buy some device
There's got to be some way to clean my ass that I can try

My doo-doo do stink too, like poo-poo
It do, doo-doo, it stinks, too, it's true, so true, I knew
Fetid brew, you'll say "pew" when I'm thru, eew-eew-eew-eew
Awful poo, oh pew, was from you, it's rude, dude

Have got no thumb on wipe hand

Nasty odor lingered after I was done
Beans from a burrito might be blamed
I did eat one
I'm not able to finish wiping up my bum, oh pew!
With no thumb on my wipe hand

(Lots of "doo-doo's", "poo-poo's" , "oh pew's" out to the end)