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Song Parodies -> "Suite: Poker-Dude Lies"

Original Song Title:

"Suite: Judy Blue Eyes"

Original Performer:

Crosby, Stills, and Nash

Parody Song Title:

"Suite: Poker-Dude Lies"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

Kids betting to the point
Where I've no fun anymore

( Five-card draw spree !! )

Sometimes I bluff
So badly I just cry out loud

( Five cards only !! )

I bet four
You bet five
You call out my cards

I faked it -- HAH-AH -AH -AH-AH !!!!

Remember what's been bet
And won
And dealt upon each other

( I may have FOUR THREES !! )

Don't bet too fast --
-- be mind-ful of what your cards are now!

( I must be dreaming !! )

I bet four
You bet five
You call out my cards

I faked it -- HAH-AH -AH -AH-AH !!!!

Daring yourself
To play with me now
You beat me --

-- now I am crying!

This does not mean
I'll quit po-ker
I won't -- that's for-ever!

Bets in for all, hey!

I bet four
You bet five
You call out my cards

I faked it -- HAH-AH -AH -AH-AH !!!!

Something you hide
Is telling me that I've caught you bluffing

( Are you still shuffling ? )

Beer is for luck -- a quaff-ter to ease bru-tal cards --

-- when I drub you!

I bet four
You bet five
You call out my cards

I faked it -- HAH-AH -AH -AH-AH !!!!
Man, I faked it !!
HAH-AH -AH -AH-AH !!!!
Man, I faked it !!
HAH-AH -AH -AH-AH !!!!
Man, I faked it !!
HAH-AH -AH -AH-AH !!!!

Come play evenings
Come play in the afternoon

What have you got to lose?

You play mornings
Leave your gun un-fired on you

What have you got to lose?

Can is swelling tight with fizz --
( watch me I'm bluffering )
-- Bud's fizzing to me, baby!
It's my beer that's sputtering
( now, please, start trying to lose )
It's flyin' in fat spurting jets of ooze!

I'll take a chance, sir!
I'm going to try and play!

What have I got to lose?

Will you come bleed me
Loan-shark-ing Saturdays

Breakin' the leg you choose!

That nut wasn't wary
He's no Clarence Darrow!
Cheats a rude, archer who,
Kills him with an arrow!

Choices full of danger
Fling a card that you like
Asking dealer, please throw three --
-- ouch! In my neck's an arrow!

Aces tilting weirdly
Losing faces all scowl
Save my life
Take to flight
Run away now!

Dude they're shooting, dude!
Dude, dude, they're shooting dude!
Dude, they're shooting, dude!
Dude, dude, at you!

Dude they're shooting, dude!
Dude, dude, they're shooting dude!
Dude, they're shooting, dude!
Dude, dude, at you!

"PAY MEEEEE!!" (Dude they're shooting, dude!)
(Dude, dude, they're shooting dude!)
"HEY CHEATER, I'M GONNA SHOW YA!" (Dude, they're shooting, dude!)
(Dude, dude, at you!)

"YA, YOU'LL SEEEEE!!" (Dude they're shooting, dude!)
(Dude, dude, they're shooting dude!)
"A CARTRIDGE OUTTA MY CARBINE!" (Dude, they're shooting, dude!)
(Dude, dude, at you!)

"CHASE HIGH-LOWWWW!!" (Dude they're shooting, dude!)
(Dude, dude, they're shooting dude!)
"OVER THE LAND AND THE SEA!" (Dude, they're shooting, dude!)
(Dude, dude, at you!)

"AND WHEN WEEEEEE---- (Dude they're shooting, dude!)
(Dude, dude, they're shooting dude!)
----CATCH YOU, NO WAY YOU'LL BUY US, OFF-AH, OFF-AH!!" (Dude, they're shooting, dude!)
(Dude, dude, at you!)

Dude they're shooting, dude!
Dude, dude, they're shooting dude!
Dude, they're shooting, dude!
Dude, dude, at you!

Dude they're shooting, dude!
Dude, dude, they're shooting dude!
Dude, they're shooting, dude!
Dude, dude, AT YOU !!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   10
 9
 9
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Good one, Johnny, easy to follow. Have to ask, kind of knowing the answer, is this JUST a card game? :) 5's
John Barry - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Fives of a kind. Great job, JD.
Dee Range - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Great play off the OS, Johnny. This is astounding. Super high 5's
alvin rhodes - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
i love the way this parody escalates to mayhem...just like real poker...5s
Paul Robinson - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Johnny, you are SUCH a CARD!! This one is a "Royal" but not something I would flush...Great formatting and detail...makes it easier to follow how the song actually sounds and flows...Hmm...gee...what type of scores should I give this? Hmm...I guess it might be "3 Fives" ~ ~ ~
Rick C - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
This drew laughter in spades...555
Meriadoc - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
You really know how to command a full house. The "dude they're shooting dude" was hilarious!
Johnny D - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Adagio, JB, Dee, alvin, Paul, Rick C, and Merry!

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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