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Song Parodies -> "Chemical Weapon Number 9"

Original Song Title:

"Love Potion Number 9"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Chemical Weapon Number 9"

Parody Written by:

Earl S. Garber

The Lyrics

This is what happens when your wife puts the CD player on "repeat"...a half hour later, another parody hits the internet. Dum, dum, dum...another one hits the net...And another one's done, and another one's done, Another one hits the net...Come on everyone - who will be first?
I took my troubles down to Tony Blair
You know that limey with the thinning hair
We made a plan to shake down Saddam some time
Lookin' for bottles of Chemical Weapon Number Nine

I told him that the war was never won
It's been this way since 1991
He looked at my smirk and he made a victory sign
He said "What you need to find is Chemical Weapon Number Nine"

He bent down and turned around and gave me a wink
He said "Hussein makes it up right there in the sink"
It smells like turpentine, it looks like Afghan ink
I held my breath, I closed my eyes, "I'll invade - I think."

I didn't know if it was wrong or right
I started searchin' everything in sight
But when I asked France and Russia for more than vodka and wine
They broke my bubble about Chemical Weapon Number Nine

------ "We'll Invade Iraq" solo ------

I held my breath, I closed my eyes, I sent the troops

I didn't know if we would win the fight
I started bombin' everything in sight
But when I asked Congress for ninety billion one time
They broke my little bubble about Chemical Weapon Number Nine
Chemical Weapon Number Nine
Don't think we're gonna find
Chemical Weapon Number Nine
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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   0

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Comedywriter - January 03, 2004 - Report this comment
What - everyone's happy now since they've found Saddam Hussein and neutralized his chemical weapons with Right Guard?
Agrimorfee - May 03, 2004 - Report this comment
ABCs Comp.--434
Johnny D - May 03, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Slick and poetically toxic! 5's
Phil Alexander - May 04, 2004 - Report this comment
A couple of times I found it hard to sing the pacing, but it's very witty and I always like good satire: it left me with a grin on my face :-)
Adagio - May 04, 2004 - Report this comment
A very good parody and funny. (ABC) 5's - May 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job, ESG. My favorite lines were the first two in the last verse, and "I held my breath, I closed my eyes, I sent the troops" (despite the fact that that one doesn't even pretend to rhyme).
Meriadoc - May 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Agree with Spaff on that troops line - great! 5-5-5.
Peregrin - May 07, 2004 - Report this comment
4-5-5 as I had trouble with the pacing, but I had a great laugh at the same time!
Claude Prez - May 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Agreed on the troops line. Nice job.
neminem - May 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, also had trouble pacing this one. I'm gonna have to give this one 4s.
Paul Robinson1 - May 16, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Great job, Earl, 5-5-5 from me. Glad to see someone go back to this great oldie. I couldn't access the Messageboard site - I know I'm late so I may be disqualified and that's OK, I understand. Still plan to comment & vote on the "C"s anyway. I was a bit under the weather this past week and not in the mood to try and evaluate anything except my pillow...

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