When I go DIY, the wife calls me Old Mister Klutz
Can't hammer in a nail,
In fact, my whole home improvement just sucks
Tho' I can't build a thing,..times, like a fool, I'll try
Then when the birds see their house,
They flip me the feather, and fly...

But when I get Behind Lowe's Doors
Smell new lumber and fresh paint..
Start to growl and groan..feel like a m-a-n !
The red blood flows, when I get Behind Lowe's Doors,
Behind Lowe's Doors...

A chair I try to build..turns out to be just a crate
Each new project's fun, till friends ask, when done, "What is it?"
I feel like a loser, but real soon, a winner, I'll be
Just pick my pride off the floor, and go to the store meant for me..

Oh, when I get Behind Lowe's Doors
Then my chest hair grows and curls..
I can build the Taj Mahal..I c-a-n
My manhood shows, when I get Behind Lowe's Doors,
Behind Lowe's Doors...

Behind Lowe's Doors...