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Song Parodies -> "O J Simpson"

Original Song Title:

"Lizzie Borden"

Original Performer:

Chad Mitchell Trio

Parody Song Title:

"O J Simpson"

Parody Written by:

2Eagle

The Lyrics

O J Simpson took a knife
Executed his ex wife
And when he got her squared away
The waiter got the coup de grace

In the springtime in Los Angeles
Mrs. O J Simpson died
So they got her former husband
On a charge of homicide
No one ever could believe it
Everyone was in denial
No a - lum - nae from USC
Could do anything so vile.

'Cause you can't chop your ex wife up in California
Not even to get custody of kids
No, you can't chop your ex wife up in California
It sets a bad example for the kids.

She came home to her condo
Where she thought she'd take a bath
Then she heard the doorbell ringing
Saw the waiter on the path
The neighbors were suspicious
Someone lurked about the door
But only the Akita
Saw the bodies on the floor.

Oh, you can't chop your ex wife up in California
Not even if she's always in your face ( in your face!)
No, you can't chop your ex wife up in California
It gets the paparrazi on your case.

On that fateful Sunday evening
He was feeling mighty blue
Then his wheels started a-turning
Something told him what to do
She was being such a nuisance
Wanted more for child support
She wanted a new necklace
That's exactly what she got.

But you can't chop your ex wife up in California
Not even if she took the jewel-er-y (the jewel-er-y)
No, you can't chop your ex wife up in California
That sort of thing is simply gauchery.

Now some evidence was lacking
Deposition not exact
The judge and jury both
Ignored a certain fundamental fact
Every pass and run and touchdown
He did with such finesse
But he couldn't do a simple chore
Without making such a mess.

'Cause you can't chop your ex wife up in California
Then take off on a flight for Illinois
No, you can't chop your ex wife up in California
California is no place for naughty boys.

No, you can't chop your ex wife up in California
Bolt the door, girls, lock and watch it
Here comes O J with a ring and hatchet.
Can't chop your ex wife up in California
The law won without fail
He lost the Heissmann, now he's in jail.
You can't chop your ex wife up in California
Make a feild goal, make a touchdown
Do the habeas corpus meltdown.
You can't chop your ex wife up in California
California is no place for naughty boys.

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Pacing: 5.0
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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - May 10, 2010 - Report this comment
The Eagle flies again. Now that you've re-opened the case of O. J. Simpson, watch for my take tomorrow. Nice work here. ;D
Patrick - May 10, 2010 - Report this comment
I was just reminiscing with a friend about the famous Bronco chase. A very nice take off on the Lizzie Borden story. By the way, Ms Borden was also acquitted by the jury, though everyone to this day assumes she was guilty.
Mark Scotti - May 10, 2010 - Report this comment
A nice "slice" of the classic "one that got away.." tail!! I have my own version of it the the ABC this month: http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/supertramp8.shtml
norCALvotress - May 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Two cBros sing . . . " Met her at the condo, there I wheeled my knife; never planned on Goldman, so I took his life . . . . Hang down your head "OhJ", hang down your head . . . 'cuz Shapiro's gonna' cry . . .
2Eagle - May 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Thank you, Old Man, Patrick, Mark and norCal - I see I'm not the only one who remembers the sick humor and folk music from the early Sixties. I made that up long before I heard of Am I Right and it is still news. If you are familiar with criminal cases you can see a similarity between O J and Lizzie.
belowaveragedave - May 10, 2010 - Report this comment
O.J. Simpson, funny enough--I didn't know who he was before his big court showdown in California. Never heard the OS before this, good job
2Eagle - May 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, BAD - you probably wern't around in the Sixties when the OS was popular. O J Simpson was one of USC's star players.
Below Average Dave - May 10, 2010 - Report this comment
That'd be correct, in fact my mom wasn't around until the later part of that particular decade and my grandmother was but a teenager. . .but thanks for introducing me to it:)

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