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Song Parodies -> "Lookin' Like A Crack Whore (Pop Diva Song)"

Original Song Title:

"Lookin' Out My Back Door"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Lookin' Like A Crack Whore (Pop Diva Song)"

Parody Written by:

Claude Prez

The Lyrics

Just home watchin' MTV, look what's on now, oh gee
Here comes the club, that just shows more and more
Here's some news that's just in:
Britney is disgustin'
Ew, ew, ew, lookin' like a crack whore

Dances like a stripper, feel like I should tip her
Look at all the skanky creatures dancin' on the floor
That's right, I just seen a
New one by Christina
Ew, ew, ew, lookin' like a crack whore

Talent is irrelevant; just shake 'em if you can
Won't you have some pride; you're lookin' mighty nude, doo doo doo
Undies have a halo
Provided by Ms. J-Lo
Ew, ew, ew, lookin' like a crack whore

Gabardine and leather pants look great on little cans
But when they get wide, with all the flyin' boobs--boo hoo hoo
We don't need no tarot, see what lies tomorrow
Ew, ew, ew, lookin' like a crack whore

No more watchin' MTV, change the channel oh gee
Goodbye all you nasty hoochies dancin' on the floor
They'll all end up like Charo
You can bet your Aguil-aro
Ew, ew, ew, lookin' like a crack whore

*********The More You Ho********Drugs and prostitution are serious social problems. That's what we hear, anyway. Wewish to acknowledge that we've never actually seen a "crack whore" that resembles J-Lo,or indeed even seen a real life "crack whore" that wasn't on TV. It's called"exaggeration". Also, we're aware that many young people idolize these pop stars, to thepoint where their identities may even be tied to their associations with them. If you areone of these young people, let us reassure you: We know your idol is very talented andhard-working and we're "stoopid", ignorant, and, of course, we suck. Also jealous. Oh,how we wish we could be like them! Alas, we don't have the hair. Anyway, no need todefend your role models here; they're doing pretty well. We thank you in advance forgracefully tolerating this indulgence.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   3
 5   2

User Comments

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Billy Florio - August 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Claude! Best parody of the week! Maybe of the month! The footnotes were almost funnier than the parody! OMG, but anyway, youre just jealous because youre not a crack whore
Diva (The parody aritst) - August 13, 2003 - Report this comment
I could't agree more.
Melhi - August 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Splort! I had tears in my eyes, I was gasping for oxygen, my sides hurt... I wouldn't be surprised if my left side's laid wide open and in need of stitches. ...oh man... and just when I thought I'd collected myself, I read the footnotes and lost it all over again. You're almost TOO good! :)
John Jenkins - August 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Outstanding, Claude - good conclusion - but how did Charo end up?
Michael Pacholek - August 13, 2003 - Report this comment
An excellent work compiled by your crack staff! And Charo still looks good at 59. She's been around, doing commercials for Verizon and Old Navy. She also thinks Shakira is copying her. I got no problem with that!
Jimmy J. - August 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Excellent! This has to be the best the best parody on the site.
Claude Prez - August 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Hey, thanks everyone. And Billy: This is the internet; what makes you think I'm not a crack whore? Melhi: "Splort" people got...ah, forget it...John, thanks for asking about Charo; I did a search and Mike is right (of course)--she looks great AND she's up for the Nobel Peace Prize! So hush my mouth! What? Oh, that's PIECE prize. My bad. No, seriously, she's doing Vegas of course and does look pretty good but what the hell. Thanks again you all.
Pat - August 13, 2003 - Report this comment
That was very, very good, Claude...:D - August 19, 2003 - Report this comment
Charo/Aguilaro cracked me up. Pun intended. And if MTV babes really look like crack whores, I need to spend more time on the street.
Michael Pacholek - August 19, 2003 - Report this comment
Corrections: Charo is 61, not 59 (which makes it even more amazing that she looks that good, or maybe the plastic surgeons did a better job with her than with Phyllis Diller), and her commercial was for Sprint, not Verizon. As they say in TIME, Mike regrets the errors.
Wild Man - August 19, 2003 - Report this comment
I must have missed this one first time around, 555 Chalupas and a Taco to boot, Claude Man.
Pat - August 19, 2003 - Report this comment
Wild Man! Can't wait til I earn some chalupas from you!! :D
Wild Man - August 22, 2003 - Report this comment
The two things I most admire about other parody writers are #1-humor and levity and # 2 being innovative with a subject matter and or concepts. I'm pretty new at the writing aspect myself Pat. I try to learn more each day as I read the works of the vets at this site. Their talent is exceptional to say the least. I found no better place in cyberspce to hone this craft.
Rod Worden - March 29, 2004 - Report this comment
One of my favorite CCR tunes! Great work, fall down funny.

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