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Song Parodies -> "These Are The Laws I Gave Moses"

Original Song Title:

"Everything's Coming Up Roses"

Original Performer:

Cast of Gypsy

Parody Song Title:

"These Are The Laws I Gave Moses"

Parody Written by:

Moses Supposes

The Lyrics

Given that this is a parody website, I shouldn't have to say this, but... not to be taken seriously. Could be a useful mnemonic, though - I haven't been able to recite them in order since attending Sunday School as a child decades ago...
“[1]I’m thy Lord, I’m thy God
(If you understand, just give a nod)
I’m the only, the One…”
That’s the first of the laws I gave Moses!

“[2]Don’t depict me in clay
Then get down on your bent knees to pray
Pray to me, not to mounds…”
That’s another law I gave to Moses!

“[3]My name’s sacred, do not make it profane
Don’t make lowly that which the Lord says is holy!

“[4]Go to church… [5]love your kin…
[6]And remember that murder’s a sin…
And don’t take what’s not thine,
Whether [7]spear, [8]spouse or swine…
“[9]Don’t lie, or [10]covet what you think you’re due…”
Ah yes, these are the laws I gave Moses...
Ten laws I gave unto Moses...
Laws that I gave unto Moses, to give unto YOU…
If at this point you feel the need to write a screed about how evil religion is, take a pill.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Benjamin Netanyahu - March 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Beautifully compact restatement of the 15... oy!... the 10... the Ten Commandments. 5s.
Mateo - March 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Devilled Advocado - March 03, 2015 - Report this comment
No screed here, but I do think the interests of humor would be better served if people laid off politics and religion as topics here. JMHO. Won't kill your 5s, though. Cheers.
Michael Pacholek - March 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Thou shalt give this a five.
Dr Giorgio Coniglio dec. - March 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Masterful first submission, Moses, perhaps aided by your musically-gifted granddaughter. Glad you left out the lollipops and daffodils at the end of the OS. This is a useful ethics-app, suitable for any tablet or small device. 5s (although sec-code is MS3!)
George Carlin - March 03, 2015 - Report this comment
I compressed the Commandments to the limit
Moses Supposes - March 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Thank you all for your comments! Devilled Advocado, I don't think there's anything wrong with parodies about religious or political subjects. And there's nothing wrong with voting your conscience. My ego's not that fragile. :)
Rob Arndt - March 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Nothong wrong with your topic, but order a little messed up. The 10 are in order: (1) No other Gods, (2) No graven images, (3) Don't take Name in vain, (4) Keep Sabbath holy, (5) Honor father and mother, (6) No murder, (7) No adultery, (8) No theft, (9) No false witness against neighbor, and (10) No coveting what someone else has. 555
Also Stoned on Tablets - March 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Great first submission; I can hardly wait for your book of more, man!
Phil Alexander - March 04, 2015 - Report this comment
This is more than a little bit brilliant.
Moses Supposes - March 04, 2015 - Report this comment
Thanks for the nice comments, everyone! Rob, sorry I switched the spouse and the spear. :)
Rob Arndt - March 04, 2015 - Report this comment
Np, MS... you probably could do "9 to 5" as "Crucified!!!"
DUH - March 05, 2015 - Report this comment
Rob, I will take up that challenge. :) I've been... crucified. Soon to be no longer livin'... And you'll know I died so your sins would be forgiven... So forgive your debts, as you're nevermore indebted For my blood has bought you everlasting credit...
Moses Supposes - March 05, 2015 - Report this comment
Um, sorry, Rob - "DUH" was me - accidentally entered the security code in the Your Name field... "duh", is right!

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