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Song Parodies -> "The Knife (sung by Michael Jackson)"

Original Song Title:

"To Life"

Original Performer:

Cast of Fiddler on the Roof

Parody Song Title:

"The Knife (sung by Michael Jackson)"

Parody Written by:

John Jenkins

The Lyrics

The knife, the knife, can't beat it!
The knife has transformed my whole life.
I always used to be cute and black,
Until a skin care quack,
Put me under the knife!
The knife, the knife, can't beat it!
The knife has transformed my whole life.
The doctor schmoozed and encouraged me
To do plastic surgery,
I now worship the knife!
Give me skin that is much whiter than the faces that are carved on Mt. Rushmore.
How much more can it get whiter if I kill the pigment that was there before?
The knife, the knife, can't beat it!
The knife has transformed my whole life.
It's only taken ten tries and now
I look like Streisand. Wow,
I reach notes just as high!

I do this all for children!
To children I devote my life!
May all your children have pleasant buns
Just like my present ones,
I now worship their life!
I do this all for children!
To children I devote my life!
It takes a young child to make me say,
"Hey, do you want to play?"
I need them in my life!
I show my children that I love them when I take them on trips to Germany,
I stay in hotels and I shove them over rails on tenth story balconies.
I do this all for children!
To children I devote my life!
In Neverland, it cannot be said,
"They feel alone in bed,"
I need them in my life!

I own a lot of assets!
My assets add thrills to my life!
At Neverland, I have many toys
For little girls and boys,
I need thrills in my life!
Some parents wants my assets,
They want me put away for life!
Parents who sue, want my assets seized,
They only will be pleased
If I'm put away for life!
I once made a lot of money singing at concerts and dancing my moonwalk,
I now make a lot of money getting the networks to pay to hear me talk.
Some parents wants my assets,
They want me put away for life!
And if I lose in my next lawsuit,
I'll find a new pursuit,
I'll get Sing-Sing for life!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   2
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 5   8
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Harvey - March 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Now I don't know what to think. Michael Jackson either made himself white or it is somekind of skin condition. I've heard both stories. Can anyone confirm one or deny the other? I'm just very confused about the whole situation.
Johnny D - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow! Sharp writing, JJ!
Leo Jay - April 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Very nicely done!
Adagio - July 14, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Good.
Johnny D - July 16, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above! I still love this one!
martha - July 18, 2004 - Report this comment
he is such a great subject to parody ... irresistible .. nice one John!!

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