She was a babe who was way off her rocker
She wore a big watch strapped to her knee
She was a babe who was way off her rocker
Nobody asked for the time, they could see
Fif...teen...till...four, said the big timepiece she wore..

She stirred my itsy, bitsy, teenie weenie
Danced the polka with zucchini..
Polish whore, I gave fifty bucks to
Knew Weird Al, her name was"Queenie"
Danced the polka with zucchini
As all around me, her clothing, she threw..
Thir..teen...till...four, said the big timepiece she wore..

She said I'll do all the stuff that you're hopin'
I will thrill you like never before
Give one more "Grant" and your fantasies open..
My funds were low, but I wanted to score
Twelve...now...till....four, said the big timepiece she wore

She stirred my itsy, bitsy, teenie weenie
Danced the polka with zucchini..
Polish whore, I gave fifty bucks to
Knew Weird Al, her name was "Queenie"
Danced the polka with zucchini
As all around me, more clothing, she threw
Ten...now....till....four, said the big timepiece she wore

Kept counting cash with my trembling fingers
All I had was just ten, forty one..
I frantic'lly reversed all of my pockets
She said "Flake off, you creep..we are done.."
Five...now...till...four, said the big knee watch she wore

She stirred my itsy, bitsy, teenie weenie
Danced the polka with zucchini
Polish whore, I gave fifty bucks to
Knew Weird Al, her name was "Queenie"
Danced the polka with zucchini
Gathered her duds, as she cooed, "Toodle oo"
A..larm...struck...four, on the big timepiece she wore

(Out the rear door, someone bounced me)
(Hollered, "Don't come back no more!")
(Drove home in my rusted Chevy)
(Can't repeat the words I swore...)

(Can't repeat the words I swore...)