She asked me why
Why I'm a hairless guy
I'm hairless noon and night
Baldness feels right

I'm hairless down below
Don't ask to see
'Cause I won't show

Come see my shiny head
White as Wonder Bread

Darlin'...

Cover my head with Nair
Strong, beautiful Nair
Foamin'
Steamin'
Depilation-action

I cover me down to there (Nair!)
Head, face, armpits, lower (Nair!)
Goodbye to my barber -
Don't need you 'cause I now use

Nair! Nair!
Nair! Nair!
Nair! Nair!
Nair!

Shavin'
Smoothin'
Love to be removin' my hair!

It used to fly
In the breeze
And get caught
In the trees
There once were so many fleas in my hair

Now I'm hair-free
And you can see
My head is clean
Bare as a bean
It's uncovered, discovered and so unencumbered

Nair! Nair!
Nair! Nair!
Nair! Nair!
Nair!

Shavin'
Smoothin'
So fun to be usin' that Nair!

Kills hair that's
Long, straight, curly, fuzzy,
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty,
Oily, greasy, fleecy, shining,
Gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen,
Knotted, polka-dotted,
Twisted, beaded, braided,
Powdered, flowered and confettied,
Bangled, tangled, spangled and spaghettied !

Oh say can you see
Any hair
Left on me - then - take Nair to court

Nair down here
Nair down there
Everywhere
That follicles sprout

They're all ga-ga at the nude beach
When they see me do my strip-tease
And reveal all my hairless skin so beautifully bare

Hair like Savalas wore it
Or Yul Brynner - I adore it
Forget about that "Hair Club For Men" - I'll go au naturale, yeah!

Nair! Nair!
Nair! Nair!
Nair! Nair!
Nair!

Shavin'
Smoothin'
Love to be removin' my hair!