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Song Parodies -> "Nair"

Original Song Title:

"Hair"

Original Performer:

Broadway Cast / The Cowsills

Parody Song Title:

"Nair"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

She asked me why
Why I'm a hairless guy
I'm hairless noon and night
Baldness feels right

I'm hairless down below
Don't ask to see
'Cause I won't show

Come see my shiny head
White as Wonder Bread

Darlin'...

Cover my head with Nair
Strong, beautiful Nair
Foamin'
Steamin'
Depilation-action

I cover me down to there (Nair!)
Head, face, armpits, lower (Nair!)
Goodbye to my barber -
Don't need you 'cause I now use

Nair! Nair!
Nair! Nair!
Nair! Nair!
Nair!

Shavin'
Smoothin'
Love to be removin' my hair!

It used to fly
In the breeze
And get caught
In the trees
There once were so many fleas in my hair

Now I'm hair-free
And you can see
My head is clean
Bare as a bean
It's uncovered, discovered and so unencumbered

Nair! Nair!
Nair! Nair!
Nair! Nair!
Nair!

Shavin'
Smoothin'
So fun to be usin' that Nair!

Kills hair that's
Long, straight, curly, fuzzy,
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty,
Oily, greasy, fleecy, shining,
Gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen,
Knotted, polka-dotted,
Twisted, beaded, braided,
Powdered, flowered and confettied,
Bangled, tangled, spangled and spaghettied !

Oh say can you see
Any hair
Left on me - then - take Nair to court

Nair down here
Nair down there
Everywhere
That follicles sprout

They're all ga-ga at the nude beach
When they see me do my strip-tease
And reveal all my hairless skin so beautifully bare

Hair like Savalas wore it
Or Yul Brynner - I adore it
Forget about that "Hair Club For Men" - I'll go au naturale, yeah!

Nair! Nair!
Nair! Nair!
Nair! Nair!
Nair!

Shavin'
Smoothin'
Love to be removin' my hair!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 1
 
 2   0
 0
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 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rick D - November 29, 2003 - Report this comment
What we have here is a bard on the bush. Funny today, JD, it becomes you.
Guy - November 29, 2003 - Report this comment
Such a hairy tale... Lot's of fun this one.
Johnny D - November 29, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks, Rick and Guy. After "Cher" and "Nair", I think I might have run out of "Hair" parodies...I'll let someone else do "Bear", "Chair", "Mare", "Scare", "Lair", "Share", "Flair", "Bayer", "Air", "Where", "There", "Care", "Blair", "Spare", "Square", "Glare", "Dare", "Stare", "Stair", and "Pear".
Rice Cube - November 29, 2003 - Report this comment
Depilation action...hehehe...
Static - November 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Or "Wear" or "Bare" or... Johnny D, the possibilities are endless! Now THAT's a scheme to get to the top of the Authors list! :D
Johnny D - December 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Thank you, Static! Does your own hair always stand on end, by the way?

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