Wisconsin Dells, the world's only
Waterpark Capital--
Wisconsin Dells, not to mention
Wavepool Central, also;
Why should you keep watching TV all the time,
When you know it's summertime, and realise
That the choices are confusing,
Not to mention quite mind-numbing,
And it might come back to haunt you in the end?

Wisconsin Dells, what you need
More than anyplace, 'cause
Wisconsin Dells has it all,
Quite more, I'd say, than Branson,
Whose jingo-sounding "music shows" can cross
That line into fanaticism dangerous,
Yet seem only to appeal to
Those who should know better, first off--
The same kinds who watch Fox News all the time....

Wisconsin Dells, tolerant
More so than would Branson;
Wisconsin Dells, understand,
Is not one for jingoes;
"It's a small world, after all," so the hymn goes
Over at Disneyland and Disney World as well,
It's time we understood this
As Wisconsin Dells well-knows it;
Besides, America is not quite the world....