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Song Parodies -> "Presidential Flow"

Original Song Title:

"Desolation Row"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Presidential Flow"

Parody Written by:

Red Neck Mother

The Lyrics

Since I started this a couple of months ago, I have seen great versions of this song by Johnny D, Merry and Pippin, and Phil Alexander. This can't match their brilliance, but I hope it brings a chuckle or two.
They're telling big lies in the White House
Getting caught with their pants down
The cutie harlot was filled, he nailed her
The blue dress stain caused frowns
Here comes the grind practitioner
She's got him by the lance
The man has lied 'bout the white groped knockers
And others who were in his pants
Now the grand jury, they're restless
The lid's about to blow
First Lady and Bill come out to fight
The Presidential flow

Miss Semen-ski, she seemed so easy
It takes one to blow one with guile
She put his gland in her front socket
Linda Lovelace style
Then comes her Romeo, he's groaning
'It's so long, how do you receive?"
Monica says "you're in the dong place my Prez
You're gonna heave"
And her lonely mound's not cleft
As he jams it in his pants and goes
Just Miss Semen-ski's leaking lips
With Presidential flow

From the moons he's most ridden
Hillary's beginning to cry
Bill's future's looking shaky
As the press finds out things he'd like to hide
Except he's still vain and able
To hump back with the bloater dame
But he won't admit to making love
Or even leaving stains
With a good pair 'a buns, undressing
He's getting ready for the blow
She's gonna be a receptacle tonight
For Presidential flow

Now she's kneeled and he feels the wind blow
Said he never once got laid
Just a twenty second blast-off
She got a cigar in trade
Though her breath is now semen-tic
She drools a silky mess
Her confession's got Hil bitchin'
Her sin , not cleaning the dress
And though her lips were fixed upon
Big Bill's great drained bow
Pretty soon she's dripping with
His Presidential flow

Pryin' eyes surmised she's bobbin' good
Caused the creamery from his trunk
To blast its way, an overflow
Past her lips, a stain-ful chunk
He looked so presidentially thankful
As she hummed a hymn of prayers
He held off launching tadpoles
By reciting some baseball players
No you would not think, to look at her
She was famous, not long ago
For laying the eclectic lyin' man
And Presidential flow

Mr. Bill, he broke his word
Inside of the Congress Hall
'Bout all the sexy interns
Who were trying to bust his balls
He's a terse, dumb loco boozer
As they charge him with buyin' his hole
And he also weeps, the guards have peeped
Some lipstick on his pole
Who all played his weeny missle?
You can hear them crow
As they preen their heads, shout "I'm in love
With Presidential flow!"

Across the desk, he nailed the interns
He's yelling "Ready for the Beast?"
Her fans want her on Opra
Or Sixty Minutes, at the least
He's soon kneading ass on sofa
He spanks her to feel more ass lured
Then he filled her without condom sense
Left his boys in her, my word!
"You don't dare come!" , shouted many girls
Pull outta there, it's gonna blow
And old Bill's just about finished, 'cause here comes
The Presidential flow

Now the secret service agents
And the semen cleaning crew
Come in and mop up eveything
That flowed more than he knew
Then they rearrange the fact story
So the lie-detect machine
When strapped across his fingers
The truth will not be seen
Starr brought down all the hassle
They asured him, "man, who'll know?"
But nobody checked if that little blue dress had
Some Presidential flow

Dazed by old Linda Tripp's tune
The recording nails the pawns
And Monica starts wondrin'
Which dress she had on
So she found and then didn't wash it
Figuring the dress had powers
While the press just flung more mud at them
And Jennifer, old Flowers
Because of some stain on the dress
The lies to Congress grow
And everybody just talks too much
About Presidential flow

(He finally confesses)

"Yes, I relieved her better yesterday
About the time her door knob broke
Now they ask if we were screwing
And tell those cigar jokes
And the intern that you mentioned
Yes, she did me for the fame
When I got back in Hils' good graces
You just brought up another name
Right now I don't need no wood
Don't send me no Viagra no
Send a box of Trojans for
My Presidential flow"

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   2
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Phil Alexander - April 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Very well executed, and with some great lines. It's difficult to keep a song this long going, and I think you've done an extremely good job.
Red Neck Mother - April 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Phil, thanks for your vote and comment.
Paul Robinson - April 30, 2004 - Report this comment
RNM - Gee, is Clinton still President? COOL! Oh...not....Too bad...Anyway, even though the material is a bit past the freshness date this was a really well done parody so I'm giving you some old 5's I just found.
Red Neck Mother - April 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul, thanks for the comments. Doesn't matter who is in there, does it? They all are a bunch of crooks, thieves, moral degenerates, or have family that is.
Michael Pacholek - May 01, 2004 - Report this comment
It does matter who is in there. When the gentleman described above was in there, we had prosperity, a balanced budget, and a World Trade Center. In other words, HIS mission was accomplished. He should've told Georgie, "OK, boy, it's all yours. Try not to f--- it up, OK? But, as President Kerry has told us, he certainly did f--- it up.
john caddick - November 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Another excellent parody, if somewhat seedy subject. It's brilliant how the story is developed whilst still echoing the underlying original words. I've read so many good parodies of this song. Why is that? Does a song this long frighten off the dilettantes?

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