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Song Parodies -> "Snoring at The Rings"

Original Song Title:

"Blowing In The Wind"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Snoring at The Rings"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Well, on the urging of many of my colleagues here at "amiright" I rented the DVD of "The Fellowship of The Rings", the first part of the "Lord of The Rings" trilogy. I'm not really much of a fan or viewer of current movies anyway because I have very little patience with visual media. It demands my full attention and when you do that with me I require that you engage me. Regretfully, I must report that "Rings" did not ring any bells for me. Way too long, and though the story premise is OK, the film is over-reliant on Special Effects. . It makes me very glad that the current technology did not exist when films like "The Wizard of Oz" or "Fantasia" were made. Well, at least I now have some idea of who some of these characters are why the Ring is a big deal to them.
How many elves must a man recognize
To understand "Lord of The Rings"?
How many scenes do you think he can skip
And still be a part of this string?
Why should he care about Hobbits and such?
These questions now come into play
I tried but now I see
The "Rings" don't interest me
I found myself snoring at the "Rings"

If you discount all the special effects,
there really is not much to see
Take all that out and it's utter nonsense,
it just did not appeal to me
Story's OK, but it's not "War and Peace",
I think I would rather just read
And try as I may,
I'm sorry now to say
I found myself snoring at the "Rings"

Tried many times but it did not connect
as something I wanted to view
'bout halfway through it became very clear
I would not be in the "Ring" crew
Was not that bad but I still fail to see
why it is worth so much "ado"
No chance, my dear friends,
that I will watch more "Rings"
No chance that I'll watch "Lord of The Rings"

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
 1
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 4   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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David Chrenko - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Funny parody, Paul. I actually liked the Rings trilogy, though not to the extent that I'll dress in costume at the theatre (I'll save that for home). Can't wait to see the comments that come in from the Hobbits among us. LMAO.
Adagio - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL, Paul!! I can identify...some movies just don't do it for me either. Actually, I have been wanting to get the actual books by Tolkien (they would be minus the fru-fru), read them and put them on my site. Yours was an honest,'eh, didn't like it' comment. I liked your assessment and parody! 5's
Arwen - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Okay...first off. I gave you 5s. I gave you 5s because it is a well written parody...and while I, personally, don't find it funny, I realize that I'm a bit biased, and to the non obsessive reader, it's probably hilarious. And, I can respect the fact that you didn't like the movie. I really can. HOWEVER...I have to say, Paul...that I'm still totally in a fight with you now. Just FYI. Paul and I are in a fight, everyone. Seriously. ; ) I'd like to know, Mr. Robinson...just out of curiosity, how the "okay story premise" could have succeeded on film without all the visual effects...you know...the ones that it was so overly reliant on. I LOVE YOU PAUL...but I have to ask...
alvin rhodes - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
hee hee hee...funny one, my man...5s
Johnny D - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
555, Paul, and please accept congratulations from this long-time J.R.R. Tolkien fan(atic)!

Peter Jackson and his CGI special-effects crew did a masterful job of cinematic digital illusion........ but...... no CGI technology will ever match the special effects I create myself within my own imagination, within my own mind's eye, when I groove on READING a brilliant fantasy like LOTR, or Robert Jordan's "Wheel of Time" series, or Stephen Donaldson's "Thomas Covenant" series, etc.!
Paul Robinson - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you all for your votes & comments. I realize a lot of you like LOTR and that's fine, I can see a reason for it's appeal - it's certainly better than much that passes for entertainment these days. Besides, I have things that I'm a bit biased and obsessive about also. I have seen many an eye roll when I start talking about them. As I said, I'm not a big movie buff so it would be fair to say that not too many things on the big screen today would get "Thumbs up" from me (Oh, there's that "Thumb" thing again). Arwen, thanks for separating your preference from your objectivity for the vote, appreciate that. Now, I don't pick fights, but I have to admit an occasional non-violent joust with an intelligent person can be stimulating in many ways. Could be just what I need, I've been a little in the doldrums the last couple days, not anything serious. And hey, I may have terrible taste in movies according to your standards but I will at least respond to your comments. lol..
Rod Worden - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Great work, Paul, and funny, too. It's always fun to read a "third rail" piece, especially if its well done and in time. 5s.
Agrimorfee - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
A brave man, not kowtowing to the mainstream! :) 555 (incidentally, I love the films but don't think I will ever bother to read the books)
2nz - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Your a brave, honest man, Charlie Brown. You musta been disappointed by the Academy Awards this year. I sure wasn't. :c)
Rick D - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Read the Harvard Lampoon "Bored of the Rings". A must for everyone that loves parody. I'm with you, Paul
2nz - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Your a brave, honest man, Charlie Brown. You musta been disappointed by the Academy Awards this year. I sure wasn't. :c)
Johnny D - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick Duncan is right - "Bored of the Rings" is a MUST for parody fans and Tolkien-fans-with-a-sense-of-humor-about-it-all (like me).

Here's a HILARIOUS website dedicated to "Bored of the Rings":

http://amethyst-angel.com/bored_of_the_rings.html

H­ere's a sample of a lusty, sexy scene where a hot Elf-babe tries to seduce Frito ("Frodo") to get The Ring away from him:

http://amethyst-angel.com/bored_prelude.html
Meriadoc - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
I imagine that a person seeing the movie without have read the books would probably find it boring (I am pretty sure I would). I think the appeal of the movie is mostly for those who have read and enjoyed the books and who want to see it in a visual form. Good parody tho'!
Paul Robinson - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for all the votes and comments. Agrimorfee - I've never been intimidated by "the mainstream" or supposed preferences of the mainstream. When they show at my door to drag me off perhaps I'll get a little concerned. 2nz - I might have been had I watched them. I have nothing AGAINST this film or it's admirer's, just not my cup of tea. Rick D - thanks, I've heard the "Bored" was pretty amusing, I might just do that. Johnny D - Thanks, that sounds interesting, too. Having a sense of humor helps a lot when people crap on your personal favorites. When I criticize a movie I'm only saying what my perceptions were, a "bad" movie to me can be a "wonderful, life-affirming experience" to someone else, and I would not deny them that pleasure. Now in parody we occasionally over-emphasize (or under-emphasize sometimes) or exaggerate for effect. I did that with my parody on the current version of "Star Trek" on TV also (remember?). Mer - You know, that thought was occurring to me as I was trying to make sense of some of the "Middle-Earth" gibber-jabber that filled a scene between Gandalf and some Head Elf. They may as well as been talking in Erdu as far as I was concerned. That did not advance the plot for me in the least. It did send me to the pause button, the refrigerator, and to click my "Display" button on the remote to see how much time was left in the movie...too much, it turned out.
Johnny D - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
From "Bored of the Rings":

"Welcome to Lornadoon," said Lavalier, rising slowly to her feet, and it seemed to the company that she was as fair as a young sapling or scrub oak. She had magnificent chestnut hair, and when she shook her head, handfuls of magnificent chestnuts dropped to the floor like rain. Frito toyed with the Ring and wondered at her great beauty.

"I see, Frito," she said, "that as you toy with the Ring, you wonder at my great beauty."

Frito gasped.

"Do not fear," she said, solemnly tweaking his nose. "Nasties we're not."

Cellophane then rose and greeted each of the travelers in turn, and motioning for them to sit down on the rubber toadstools arranged around the room, bid them tell the tale of their adventures.

Arrowroot cleared his throat. "Once upon a time," he began.

"Call me Ishmael," said Gimlet.

"Whanne in Aprille," started Legolam.

"Hear me, oh Muse," commenced Bromosel.

After some discussion, Frito told the whole story of the Ring, of Dildo's party, the Black Schleppers, the Caucus of Orlon, Doria, and Goodgulf's untimely passing.

"Woodja, woodja, woo," said Cellophane sadly when Frito had finished.

Lavalier sighed deeply. "Your journey is long and hard," she said.

"Yes," said Cellophane, "you bear a great burden."

"Your enemies are powerful and merciless," said Lavalier.

"You have much to fear," said Cellophane.

"You leave at dawn," said Lavalier...
Peregrin - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul, I'm in it and can't stand it! I liked the parody though ;-)
John Jenkins - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Very good parody, Paul. I, too, have just seen the first movie of the trilogy, and, not having read the books, my take is similar to yours. But, in your first verse, since it should rhyme with the first two couplets, wouldn't a better third couplet be:

How do these Hobbits have power to make
Cash registers go ca-ching?
Mari D - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
I fell asleep during the first "Rings" movie, enjoyed the second one, haven't seen the third, and laughed at your parody!
Phil Nelson - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
I completely agree. I saw the first one in the theatres, and just thought it was really weird and boring. I never saw the second or third ones. Very good parody.
Paul Robinson - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - Isn't that part of the REAL movie dialogue? It seems about the same. Per - Well, the only benefit I can see so far from watching it is that I finally do know where you and Mer got your site "handles" from. John J. - hmmm...that's not bad, I didn't think the non-rhyme was bad when I sang it back but I like your suggestion. Mari D - so you "Snored at the Rings", also, eh? But were still brave(?) enough to go back for more. Phil, thanks.

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